


Victoria aut Mors

by king_or_2_queens



Series: Victoria aut Mors [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canonical Character Death, Dark Humor, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, In America, Kissing, Light BDSM, M/M, Minor Angelina Dalles/Grell Sutcliff, Minor Ciel Phantomhive/Alois Trancy, Minor Claude Faustus/Ciel Phantomhive, Obsessive Behavior, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Sarcastic Ciel, Vomiting, just a little bit, like if you squint - Freeform, some use of song lyrics, sort of, subby!sebby, very light
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 07:15:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4657461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/king_or_2_queens/pseuds/king_or_2_queens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ciel wants to restore honor to his family name. Sebastian just wants Ciel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mortals

**Author's Note:**

> Needs editing. Originally posted on ff.net last Christmas if you want to read ahead (it's slightly different, though). Lovely to meet you all with this first fic. Ciel's a badass modern-day Renaissance man and Sebastian has some obsessive tendencies. Sebastian is also a liiiiiittle bit subby. I hope you like my crap writing. 
> 
> I repeat, NEEDS EDITING.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel pretends, and Ciel allows himself to be distracted, but deep down he knows that he still isn't okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only warning for this chapter is cursing, I think.

**Part 1: Mortals**

**"Lord, what fools these mortals be!"**

* * *

 

Ciel sighed after reading the line aloud, knowing that Robin was the part he wanted to have in the play. He also knew that he probably wouldn't get it, seeing as how musical theater at his school – Victoria's Institute for the Arts – was run by the popular crowd.

And Ciel was not popular by any means.

He sighed again, leaning back on the luxurious couch and dropping the script on the cushion next to his thigh.

Taking into consideration his ridiculous eyepatch, his small stature, and his well-known sexuality, Ciel knew he pretty much had no hope of ever becoming popular at that school – which he found highly ironic, as most of the males attending his school were likely just as straight as the yellow brick road ( _typical of an arts school_ ).

Normally, that suited him just fine, but when it came to other matters, such as playing the part he just _knew_ he was destined for in one of his favorite comedies, he hated the position (or lack thereof) he held in his high school.

Now that Ciel's father was dead, he was being prepped to take over his father's old position as principal of Victoria's Institute. He was aiming to get his doctorate in education administration, teach for a while, and then work his way up to principal, all under the instruction of his father's elderly mentor and Ciel's current caretaker, Tanaka.

However, when his father had been sixteen, he had essentially been king of the school; he'd had the implicit trust of all the teachers and encountered no problems in his climb to the top. Ciel deeply envied the position his father had held at the school, even as a freshman. _Vincent Phantomhive_ …his name was hallowed in the halls of Victoria's Institute. He had been class president, president of the Key Club and student government, lead in almost every play, a star athlete (football, soccer and track), a straight-A student, and eventually valedictorian.

And although he had plenty of reason to be, he didn't abuse his power or look down on others. He had actually been one of the most kind-hearted, accepting, and generous students ever to grace the hallways of that godforsaken school.

Or so Auntie Angelina claimed.

It wouldn't surprise Ciel if she had embellished a few details. His mother, Rachel, _had_ told him all about Angelina's pitiful little crush on Vincent back when they were all kids.

Ciel scoffed at the mere thought of it.

Anyways, that wasn't the point. The point was that Ciel should have been able to rule the school as his father had, but circumstances didn't allow for it to just be given to him; instead, he would have to work for it. He had worked for it for the past year and a half, and he wasn't about to stop now.

_Keep telling yourself that. Maybe, one day, you'll actually believe it._

As he came to that conclusion, his Auntie walked into the room, smiling far too widely, teetering in heels far too high, and wearing far too much red than was probably sane. "Hey, Ciel! What's up?" she asked kindly as she collected things in her purse.

Ciel picked at a non-existent piece of lint on his sweater as he answered. "Just going over lines for my audition this afternoon, Madame." He kept his eyes cast down, radiating disinterest.

"Ah, good luck with that. You know your father was Puck in that play, a Midsummer Night's Dream." Her eyes grew misty and wistful, and Ciel recoiled. "He was amazing, had the part down to a science-"

"That's lovely, Madame, but you should really get going before you're late for work," he interrupted matter-of-factly, bored with the conversation.

Angelina frowned slightly, blinking away the tears. "Now, don't you know by now to call me Auntie, Ciel Phantomhive? Honestly, I'm not a stranger, you know," she pouted, squeezing him in a hug before flouncing out the door.

Ciel looked down at his watch, thinking that he should probably get going as well.

_5:45. Yes, I should definitely get going._

* * *

Stomping through the small puddles left behind by last night's rain, Ciel grumbled, "I fucking wore my nice boots today, and for what? For mud all over the heels. Fan-fucking-tastic."

The bus pulled up just as he reached his stop.

Ciel looked around the muddy street corner in mild surprise, noting that his self-proclaimed "best friend", Alois, was nowhere to be found. He then shrugged and began climbing the steps to get on the bus.

The moment he was eye level with the first row of seats, his name was shouted with zeal. "Ciel! Come sit with me!"

He sighed in annoyance but complied nonetheless, sitting in the seat across the aisle from his _other_ self-proclaimed best friend, Soma Kadar, and his – almost frighteningly – devoted boyfriend, Agni Munshi, who was previously orphaned and had been taken in by a foster family.

"How's it going, Ciel?" Soma asked eagerly, in an overly-friendly mood as usual.

"You should know, you were over for most of the weekend, Soma," Ciel replied somewhat shortly.

"Aw, come on Ciel – don't be like that! Tell me how your morning was."

Ciel frowned and reluctantly told him a severely abridged version of how he wasn't expecting to get the part in A Midsummer Night's Dream and the conversation with his Aunt that had followed his inner monologue.

Soma pouted and slammed his hands down on his knees. "How stupid! You're a great actor, and those drama geeks are all idiots if they don't choose you to be the fairy. Right, Agni?" Soma looked to his significant other for affirmation.

Agni, tattoos, piercings, dyed white hair and all, blushed at being addressed and stuttered a response. "Y-yes…yes, of course!"

Ciel simply rolled his eyes and dug his phone and in-ear headphones out of his small black messenger bag. After a few taps, he pushed his earbuds into his ears and began listening to Beethoven's 7th Symphony, Movement Two, tuning out the rest of the world and trying his damnedest to pretend that everything was normal.

Soma frowned, turning back to Agni. "Does he seem sadder than usual today?" Soma asked his boyfriend.

Agni glanced at Ciel, slightly concerned, before returning his grave gaze to Soma. "Well, it is only a few weeks before his birthday," he responded, in a low, solemn voice. "And you know how that makes him."

The younger boy's shining, golden eyes widened. "Of course!" he said, planting his right fist in his left hand in realization. "Well, you know what? Ciel should just get a boyfriend!"

Agni was slightly taken aback. "I...what?"

"Well, whenever I'm sad, you make me happy, Agni!" Soma clarified, his white smile far brighter than the watery North Washington sun. "So wouldn't it make sense for him to be happy if he had someone to love as well?"

Agni smiled as well, feeling his heart beat just a bit faster in his chest. "I suppose you're right."

Soma laughed, leaning back into Agni's chest and closing his eyes for the remainder of the bus ride.

* * *

Ciel was jolted out of his trance-like state a few minutes away from the school when his phone vibrated. He punched in his passcode and dragged down the notifications bar with his ringed thumb, seeing a new text from Alois.

_OMG sorry i wasnt at the bus stop 2day, Im still coming to school tho_

Ciel rolled his eyes at Alois's terrible typing skills, then replied: _Where were you?_

A few moments later, his response came through: _getting screwed HARD by this rly hot guy!_

Ciel chose not to answer.

It didn't matter anyways because the moment he stepped off of the bus and onto the curb, he noticed Alois emerging unsteadily from a bright red 2014 Tesla Model S with a dreamy, satisfied smile on his face. Soma suddenly popped out of nowhere from behind Ciel, whistling lowly. "That's a nice car. What's Alois doing in a nice car?"

"I have no idea," Ciel responded slowly as Alois made his way over.

"Did you get my text, Ciel? _That's_ the hot guy," he gestured grandly to a dark-haired, very tall boy who was rummaging around in the trunk of the Tesla. "I dunno where he came from, but we need more guys like that around—"

Ciel cut him off. "Where did you meet him?"

"We actually bumped into each other at Wal-Mart. We both reached for the Cheeto Puffs at the same time…Clearly it's meant to be!" he said dramatically, faking a swoon.

Soma and Agni, who had appeared without Ciel's noticing as well, laughed raucously at this.

"Ha-ha." Ciel said sarcastically. "So you just happened to run into some really hot guy while buying Cheetos at Wal-Mart, and … what, he decided on the spot that he wanted to have his dirty way with you?"

"Yes, that's about right," a deep voice said, surprising Ciel.

The boy who had been by the car was now standing behind Alois, wrapping his long arms about the smaller boy's waist and leaning down to place a soft, not-so-chaste kiss on the side of Alois's neck.

His dark hair was neatly cut at the back, and midnight-colored bangs, parted harshly to the sides of his face, swung slightly, significantly longer on one side than the other. He had thin, rectangular glasses perched on his nose, which glinted in the watery sunlight as he shifted. His sharply cut jaw was only outdone by the even sharper tilt of his arched eyebrows, which lent to him a constantly brooding facial expression. Perceptive golden eyes took in Ciel's petite form with unreadable emotion.

"But then, could anyone blame me?" he murmured into the milky-white skin with a smirk. Alois giggled as Claude continued. "He's just so damn—"

Again, Ciel interrupted. "And who the hell are you?"

"Ah, I'm very sorry, Ciel. My name is Claude Faustus. My cousin and I are new in town. It's…nice to meet you," he introduced himself, detangling from Alois and holding out a hand. "Alois has said _many_ things about you."

Ciel sighed, firmly grasping Claude's much larger hand. "Nice to meet you as well, I guess."

At his touch, Ciel saw Claude's oddly golden eyes flash with something predatory, and his hold on Ciel's hand tightened briefly before he let go.

Ciel opened his mouth to say something snide, but at that moment, the bell went off for first period. Snapping his mouth shut, he grabbed Soma – who had been saying a soft goodbye to Agni – and dragged him off to their first class –Calculus AB.

Soma was a junior at age 17, a few years older than Ciel, who was 14 but turning 15 in a few weeks. Ciel had strived to be in top-level math classes, taking Algebra online in 7th grade, Geometry in 8th, and both Algebra 2 and Pre-Calculus online in 9th grade. Ciel had also skipped 6th grade, so aside from being the only sophomore in Calculus AB, he was also one of the youngest sophomores in the school.

Despite his youth, Ciel was better with numbers than most of the kids at the school, and proud of it. He was also great in history and science, and while he didn't especially shine in other areas, he had high enough grades in English and Art. His 4.0 GPA, perfect attendance record, and great behavior had earned him the title of class president in SGA (student government) from the administrators, but nothing else. Everything else came down to student vote, so he pretty much had no chance when it came to presidency in other clubs.

As he sat down in one of the middle rows in his math class, Ciel fiddled with his eyepatch, making sure it was mostly hidden by his bangs.

_Such a pain sometimes._

He would wear a contact to mask the discoloration in his right eye, but the eye was far too sensitive for that _and_ far too sensitive to simply be left open in broad daylight. So Ciel was forced to wear the eyepatch…

And it had sort of grown on him.

When the second bell of the day rang, signaling that all students were to be in class, Ciel sat up ramrod-straight, focusing all of his attention on the teacher, Mr. Spears.

He was a strict man who stuck exactly to the textbook, and sometimes it really pissed Ciel off. He had done so many math classes online that sitting in a classroom, listening to a boring man lecture on a topic that was far more simple and easy than he made it sound, nearly made him want to flip a table.

So when a voice crackled over the intercom, "Ciel Phantomhive, please report to the front office," Ciel was ecstatic to get out of class. He said a quick goodbye to a nearly-asleep, drooling Soma and practically sprinted out of the room, hardly remembering to gather his things before he left.

As Ciel speed-walked through the hallways, the heels of his less-than-impeccable boots clicking loudly on the polished wood floors, he began to wonder why he had been called down to the office in the first place.

Of course it wouldn't be anything bad. Ciel never broke any rules. He kept his hair an appropriate length and didn't dye it. He had one earring in each ear, nothing gaudy, just small onyx stones. His eyepatch was for medical reasons. He kept his shorts knee-length and his boots no higher than the knee. He always wore the black blazer with the school logo on it and kept his white dress shirt buttoned – besides the very top one, as that was simply uncomfortable. He did everything the teachers asked of him, earned community service hours, and kept his grades in the range of ninety-six to one hundred.

It was hard to fault him.

He arrived at the office and knocked on the doorframe, catching the attention of the secretary, a very smiley man named Mr. Pluto with graying hair. "Go right in, Ciel," said Mr. Pluto cheerily.

He did just that, and to his surprise, found Claude sitting in a chair in front of the principal's desk. Another boy was there as well, but at the angle he was sitting, Ciel couldn't see his face. Just as Ciel opened his mouth to ask why he had been called down in the first place, Edward Midford, the junior class president, entered the office as well.

"Well, boys," started Miss Blanc, the elderly school principal, "we have two new students, and as class presidents, I'd like you to show them each around the school."

For some reason, the principal didn't seem very happy that the two boys were in her office. There was an odd look of disgust in her eyes, Ciel noticed.

She gestured to Claude, who smirked at Ciel. "This is Claude Faustus. He's a junior, and he will be taking A and AS level classes."

She then gestured to the other boy, whose face Ciel still couldn't see. "This is Sebastian Michaelis. He is a sophomore, and he will also be taking A and AS level classes. Sebastian and Claude are cousins from out of state. We will treat them with kindness and acceptance as we would any other students, understood?"

"Yes, Miss Blanc," Ciel and Edward responded at the same time.

At that moment, Sebastian chose to turn around. Ciel's eyebrows shot up in surprise as he took in Sebastian's appearance. His dark, soft-looking hair was cut just _so_ that the back was a only a bit shorter than the front, his bangs hanging over part of the right side of his face. His full (but not exceedingly large) lips were quirked in a smirk, somehow similar to Claude's while still looking completely different. His nose was slim and perfectly straight. His skin pale and unblemished. But the best feature was probably his eyes – almost unsettling with how bright they were.

Ciel thought, _They're pretty much crimson! What sort of contacts is this guy using?_

Sebastian stood, and Ciel noted the way that the standard black school pants hugged the lean muscles of his thighs. The taller – much, much taller than Ciel – boy held out a hand for Ciel to shake, and as Ciel's hand was firmly captured by Sebastian's, Ciel felt an odd sense of déjà vu.

He also noticed a similar flashing of Sebastian's eyes to the hungry look Claude had cast him just an hour or so earlier. But instead of feeling frightened or nervous, he felt… _attracted._

_What the hell?_

"Pleased to meet you…" he prompted, asking for Ciel's name.

"Ciel. Ciel Phantomhive," he clarified.

"Well, then I'm _very_ pleased to meet you, Ciel Phantomhive," he practically purred in a sensual baritone, sending pleasurable chills down Ciel's spine. He stroked over the ring on Ciel's left thumb before pulling away. Ciel tried his hardest to fight off a sudden blush, but some of it seeped through, causing Edward to snicker behind him.

"I-I'll see you later, Miss Blanc," he said, turning and walking out of the principal's office and knowing that Sebastian would likely follow.


	2. Delights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Resistance is futile. (He's the perfect distraction.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for cursing and (un)subtle sexual harassment. HERE ON OUT IS UNEDITED.  
> I'm so sorry.

**Part 2: Delights**

**"These violent delights have violent ends."**

* * *

 

Ciel reminded himself that it was probably a bad idea to even consider for one moment being _involved_ with Sebastian – in any sense of the word. Sebastian was _exactly_ the type to crush a heart - the charming, probably intelligent, wealthy (you had to be to get into the Institute), smirking, devastatingly attractive newcomer.

Definitely one to be avoided.

"So, what class are you in right now, Ciel?" Sebastian asked in that damnably deep voice of his.

"Calculus AB," Ciel answered. "Let me see your schedule. Maybe we have a few classes together and I won't have to miss too many of mine."

_Here's to hoping…_

Sebastian handed the smaller boy his class schedule, printed on orange paper.

"1st period Calc AB, 2nd period AP Chemistry, 3rd Music Theory I, 4th Home Ec, 5th AP Physics, 6th AP World History, 7th Honors English Literature, 8th Advanced Orchestra," Ciel read aloud, not sure if he should be disappointed or elated.

"Well, we have…six classes together and one joint class," he finally sighed, irritated by the fact that he would be seeing Sebastian all day every day – even as his heart raced.

"What's a joint class?"

"AP Chem is a joint class. See, we have different teachers. You have Ms. Mao, and I have Mr. Lau, but they write their lesson plans together and often bring the classes together for labs and lectures.

"Anyway, we also have Calc, Theory, Physics, History, English, and Orchestra together."

Sebastian smirked, catching Ciel's eye as he gently pulled the paper out of Ciel's significantly smaller hands. "So, I can trust you to guide me to almost every class…Right, Ciel?"

"Yes, I suppose," the younger male responded reluctantly, starting off towards the A building and dutifully ignoring the pointed look Sebastian had given him.

Ciel began to explain how the school was set up. As it was an outdoor campus, there were several buildings: A, C, G, M, S, and E.

Each of the buildings was two stories tall, and almost all held at least twenty rooms on each floor. Every building was loosely labeled by the type of classrooms it held, but some were randomly scattered about the campus – not to mention the fact that every year, teachers quit or were fired, and rooms were shifted. The only rooms that remained the same were the arts classrooms, which were fairly isolated from most of the other buildings and took most of the five-minute breaks between bells to get to.

Needless to say, it took most people a few weeks to get over the Institute's somewhat large and disorienting setup.

"We missed almost all of Spears's class, and we'd be too late if we tried to go back anyways. So we can go to Mr. Doyle's class, but we'll be very early," Ciel spoke to fill the dangling silence as they approached the staircase.

Sebastian suddenly reached out and grabbed Ciel's wrist, stopping him in his tracks. "Why don't we just wait out here and chat a bit, then?" he suggested with a small smile. "Talk about more…personal things?"

Ciel stiffened but complied for no particular reason, leaning on a railing a little ways up from Sebastian, who stood at the foot of the stairs.

Ciel smirked inwardly. _From where I'm standing, we're the same height._

"So, where are you from?" Ciel asked, trying to spark the conversation that Sebastian had asked for and trying not to sound too eager.

"Florida," he answered, causing Ciel's eyebrow to twitch in curiosity. "Yeah, everyone is always surprised at that because Claude and I are so pale. I'm really not sure how it happened. We're both athletes, so it isn't like we didn't get sunlight."

"So why move here? Why Teneview?"

Not that Teneview was a _bad_ place to live. A picturesque little town a little off the foot of Baker Mountain, Washington State. A few well-off families, an abundance of upper-middle class types, four or five good schools, and just about three thousand people. Ciel was well aware of the fact that many of his friends wanted to get the hell out of Teneview.

If Ciel had wanted to, he could have moved away. He had enough money and connections – even at his age – to move, out of Washington even, if he had so desired (not that Angelina would give a shit anyways, she'd be fucking _relieved_  not to have to see the face of her love-that-never-was-and-then-died every time Ciel bade her goodbye in the morning). But Ciel had stayed. And he would continue to, until he had that position of power that he so desired – that his late father had won so effortlessly.

He wasn't doing it for his father, though. Not even for his poor, sweet dead mother, Rachel. Ciel was doing it for himself. He wanted to show those bastards that had stolen so much from him that he would not be broken by petty criminals such as them. Ciel would get his degree, make his climb to the top, and run Victoria's Institute for the Arts – his _kingdom_ – just the way he wanted to.

_Because if I keep telling myself that, then maybe I won't be able to think about anything else._

"Well, our adoptive father in Florida was kind of insane, like…criminally insane," Sebastian started after a short pause. "So Claude and I moved in with our older cousin, Levi. Nice guy, very wealthy. He's out of town most of the time, so we pretty much have the place to ourselves," Sebastian explained, eyes on the sky as he spoke.

Ciel simply nodded half-heartedly, having just been yanked out of another inner monologue.

"So, what's your story?" Sebastian continued, plowing on. "What's up with that wicked eyepatch?"

 _Shit,_ Ciel thought. _Think of an excuse, idiot._

Just as Ciel opened his mouth to give an evasive answer, the bell for next class rang and students began pouring out of classrooms in droves. Ciel let out a small breath of relief at this, which didn't go unnoticed by Sebastian.

"Don't think I'll let this slide by," Sebastian said over the sudden din created by dozens of bustling students. "I still want to know!"

"Fine," Ciel responded, rolling his eyes mildly. "But at lunch, not now."

With that, Ciel turned and began moving up the stairs, weaving around careless students with no hesitation. Sebastian followed him, equally sure of his steps.

To Ciel's dismay, when they entered the class, a substitute teacher was sitting at Mr. Doyle's desk, flipping through a small black notebook.

"Oh, too bad," Ciel mumbled as he pulled his own notebook out of his messenger bag and scowled at it slightly, sitting down at his usual desk. "I wanted to show Mr. Doyle some of the suggestions I had."

"Suggestions for what?" Sebastian asked, genuinely curious as he sat down in the seat to Ciel's right.

"Ah, Arthur – er, Mr. Doyle, that is, sings lead in a local band called Sherlocked. I help him a little bit with their songs and sometimes play with them," Ciel replied, more than a little bit proud.

"That's pretty cool. You'll have to take me to see them perform sometime," Sebastian said, leaning in and putting his left hand on the back of Ciel's chair. "What do you play, Ciel?"

Ciel blinked and flushed slightly, suddenly feeling a bit out of sorts due to the taller boy's proximity. "I, uh –" he cleared his throat, moving his eyes away from Sebastian's piercing gaze and towards the lapel of his open school-issued blazer. "I play violin, cello, piano, and I can sing on a good day."

"Oh? I'd just _love_ to hear you sing for me…" Sebastian whispered, the warm, enticing scent of cinnamon wafting over Ciel's face.

Ciel's pink cheeks darkened to a nice shade of maroon as he thought about what exactly _that_ statement could mean, and Sebastian smirked, leaning forward even more.

"Well, I sing as well, so maybe we could do a duet sometime, Ciel," he finished, none-too-subtly resting his right hand over Ciel's and stroking over Ciel's golden signet ring with two fingers.

"A-as if!" Ciel finally managed to stutter out after a long pause, blushing fiercely, just as the final bell rang. Sebastian leaned back into his own chair, looking thoroughly pleased with himself, and turned his smug gaze towards the board.

"Okay, class," the portly old man began with a smile. "Mr. Doyle had a meeting today in Olympia, so he left me a simple note with what you kids should be doing today."

"Ugh, shut _up_ ," whined Hannah Annafellows under her breath from behind Ciel. "Just get the hell on with it."

Hannah was a lovely girl. Fairly tall, with a gifted figure. Dark blue eyes that seemed to spark in excitement. Long blonde hair that she frequently dyed purple. She gave off a little bit of pseudo-non-conformist vibe, but so did 90% of the school anyways. Bottom line: she was beautiful…

_Until she opened her mouth._

She usually kept fairly quiet, but when she did speak, it took all of Ciel's willpower not to whip around and slap the bitch. On top of that, she had some strange infatuation with Alois. She followed him around like a puppy, and whenever he asked her to get something – quite rudely, Ciel thought – she did it without hesitation.

 _What a damn shame,_ Ciel thought. _Two unfortunate personality traits ruining the whole package. She could be quite popular if she tried._

Unlike Ciel, who could never be popular no matter how hard he tried.

"The end of the semester is approaching in just over two weeks. The semester exam has already been decided on in full, and here are the instructions for the first part of it.

"It will be three parts: fact recall, analysis, and composition. Right now, you will begin working on the composition part. Here's a list of requirements –" here he handed a stack of papers to a girl on the other side of the room to pass out, "– and use Sibelius to begin working."

There were few things Ciel got excited about. Music, theater, and…actually, that was probably it. So when a rare opportunity such as this arose, he couldn't help the feelings that coursed through him.

However, Ciel restrained the bit of excitement he was feeling for the project, keeping his face carefully schooled. However, once he had the instruction paper in his grasp, he took off for the computer stations, eager to begin writing.

In his haste, he didn't notice the crimson-colored gaze which silently followed his movements the entire time.

* * *

At the end of class, Ciel popped his knuckles – much to Hannah's chagrin – and smirked, feeling accomplished. He had written out the bassline and the chord progressions for the song. He had started writing the melody over it all, but so far was only about three-quarters of the way through.

 _I'll show it to Mr. Doyle next class and finish it then as well,_ he decided as he logged out of the computer and packed away his things. Just as Ciel started to stand from his seat, a heavy, warm hand on his shoulder caused Ciel to tense up in surprise.

"Hey, Ciel!" greeted a familiar voice. Ciel sighed inwardly and braced himself for the onslaught of sexual harassment that always followed the greeting.

"Aleister." Ciel responded coldly, turning to face the older boy. He made no attempt at furthering the conversation from there, instead preferring to wait for Aleister to get to his point.

"I was just wondering," the blonde started a few moments later, bracing both hands on the computer desk behind Ciel with a charming smile. The idea of locking him in was not lost on Ciel. "You want to come over to my place tonight and help me…work on my piece?"

Ciel's skin crawled in disgust as the other boy gazed down at him expectantly. "No." he answered flatly.

Aleister's smile didn't falter. If anything, it widened. "Come on, Ciel. You _know_ I'll make it worth your while," he said more softly, leaning in towards Ciel. And Ciel did know that, but that didn't mean he wanted to go along with it. _Control. That's what it's all about._ "Come home with me, little robin," he whispered into the side of Ciel's neck.

Ciel shuddered, discomfort transforming into anxiety, and raised his hands to push away the taller boy, his one good eye darting around the room and noting that all of the kids had their noses in their phones for the last few minutes of class.

"Fuck off, Aleister. I'm not interested in your _piece_." Ciel asserted, pushing harder. However, his spindly arms helped very little, and Aleister moved impossibly closer, fitting his much larger arms around Ciel's waist and breathing on Ciel's collarbone. Immediately, Ciel began panicking, imagining a different, rougher set of hands prying him open-

_Shitshitshitshitshit—_

In a blink, Aleister was being pulled off of him, and Sebastian was gripping him tightly by his left shoulder.

"Did you want something?" Sebastian asked, calmly and with a pleasant, placating smile. Ciel still shivered at the cold look in his crimson eyes. "If you want something, I'm sure you can ask him later. Ciel's a bit sick today."

Aleister frowned in annoyance and pulled away from Sebastian's grasp. "Whatever. I'll see you later, Ciel."

Ciel sighed, slumping down onto the computer desk and staring at the opposite wall. He started slightly when Sebastian moved into his line of sight but didn't look away. Ciel wasn't sure how long the two of them stood there, waiting for the other to say something.

"Hey, Ciel?" Sebastian said. "The bell rang. It's time to go to next block."

Ciel stood there a few more moments, trying to shake off the memories, before fully standing up.

"It's actually time for lunch. We can drop off our stuff at Mr. Humphries's classroom before going to the cafeteria," Ciel said quickly, self-consciously brushing off his blazer at the hips where Chambers's hands had been. He picked up his bag from the ground where he'd left it and strode out of the empty room without another word.

Sebastian kept his face carefully blank as he followed, not giving any hint as to what he truly thought of the ordeal.

"Hi, Ciel," said Mr. Humphries shortly when Ciel pushed open the door of the Physics classroom.

"Morning, Mr. Humphries. We have a new student, and I'm showing him around. Sebastian Michaelis, a sophomore," Ciel introduced, gesturing to the taller boy behind him.

Sebastian wiggled his fingers at the stern older man, who grimaced in slight irritation. "How were you in Physics at your old school?" Mr. Humphries asked blandly.

"Eh, I was alright. I had a B, which was higher than most kids. We had a really bad teacher," Sebastian replied, but there was a look in his eyes that didn't match up with his words as he glanced down at Ciel.

"Well, Ciel only sits with one other student, so you can join that table," said Mr. Humphries. "Ciel, I trust that you will bring Sebastian up to your level in this class."

Ciel simply nodded, grabbed his cell phone out of his bag, and left again, Sebastian on his heels.

"So…want to talk about that eye-patch now?" Sebastian prodded as he trailed behind Ciel just a step to the right.

Ciel stroked the Phantomhive family crest engraved in the gold ring on his right hand before answering in a sigh. "Not really."

"Not even the short version?" he continued to ask, causing Ciel's irritation to overcome his nerves.

"The _short version_ is that I had some chemicals poured into my eye, and now it's fucked up. Thanks for asking," Ciel snapped.

Sebastian remained silent the rest of the way to lunch.

As they approached the cafeteria building, Ciel pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his news feed on Facebook, attempting to distract himself from his own thoughts. He scoffed internally when he saw Elizabeth's numerous posts, positively glowing with the joy she felt in her new relationship, exactly the same joy she had exuded in her last five relationships (which had all went to hell).

_That won't be lasting long, I'm sure._

Elizabeth Midford was Ciel's third and last self-proclaimed best friend. Elizabeth, however, was not a boy and was definitely not gay like the other two. In fact, she had tried – numerous times – to convince Ciel that _he_ was straight so that she could have him to herself, to no avail.

Just the thought of dating Elizabeth (or any girl, for that matter) caused Ciel to laugh quietly in self-deprecation. He'd tried that before, and the results were disastrous, to say the least.

When they reached the cafeteria, Ciel was in a marginally better mood than he had been when they'd left the Music Theory room. He even managed not to scowl too meanly at Alois when his name was called, quite loudly, from across the outdoor eating area. When he reached the table, he noticed that Alois was sitting with not only Soma, Agni, Hannah, and Elizabeth, but also Elizabeth's new boyfriend Derrick, and Sebastian's creepy cousin, Claude.

Soma seemed unusually energetic, practically bouncing out of his seat as he watched Ciel walk up with Sebastian.

Ciel sighed, noting that there was now hardly any room for him to comfortably sit at the usual table, let alone Sebastian. Ciel reluctantly slid in next to Claude, whose facial expression did not change – although he felt the older boy's hand twitch against his thigh underneath the table.

"I'm gonna go buy some lunch," Sebastian announced. Before he could leave, Soma sprang up from his seat, saying, "I'll join you!" After a moment's hesitation, Agni hastened to follow his younger boyfriend.

* * *

 

Soma could see, as the trio stood in a lunch line, that Sebastian was carefully looking at him out of the corner of his eye, so he addressed the taller boy, a large smile on his face. "Hi, I'm Soma. What's your name?" he asked sunnily.

Sebastian turned fully towards Soma and smiled pleasantly. "I'm Sebastian. Sebastian Michaelis. It's nice to meet a good friend of Ciel's."

Soma immediately pounced on the opening. "Yes, yes! Ciel is like a little brother to me. I have learned so many things from him." He replied, gesturing wildly as he spoke. "But…he is not like a little brother to you, right?" he continued, trying to be subtle and failing miserably.

Sebastian smirked. "I don't think I'd want the things I want from Ciel if I thought of him as a little brother."

Soma paused before continuing, somehow feeling a little bit uncomfortable after that statement. "Um…well, why don't you ask him out, then?"

Noticing Agni's slight stiffening behind him, Soma blindly reached back to squeeze his boyfriend's hand. _Trust me_ , he tried to convey with his grip.

Sebastian's smirk softened into a more earnest expression, but Soma felt that there was still something off. "Well, I was planning on it eventually, but he seems a bit uncomfortable with touching and interaction. I don't want to push him or anything," he answered kindly.

 _Somehow, that seems at odds with the last thing he said,_ Soma thought to himself.

"You seem like a nice enough guy… As long as you treat Ciel well and consider his feelings, I think you will be a good boyfriend. Just take things slow with him. Right, Agni?" At this, he turned around to face Agni, winking hugely to push his agreement.

"Erm…right. Yes." Agni was not one-hundred percent certain about the purity of Sebastian's intentions yet, but he acquiesced to make Soma happy.

Sebastian smiled again, gesturing for them to move forward in the lunch line. "I'm glad I have your approval," he said softly, running his left hand through his hair.

Agni just happened to catch sight of something odd on Sebastian's hand as he moved it. Instinctively, he reached out and grabbed it. When he realized what he had done, he let go immediately, dark skin flushing in embarrassment. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I just thought I saw something."

Surprisingly, Sebastian didn't jerk his hand away. He just smiled, but it seemed to fall just short of the mark. "You must have seen my ink," he replied, clearly displaying his hand for the two teenagers to see. "You like it?"

Soma gasped. "But isn't that…"

Sebastian filled in the blanks. "A pentagram? Yeah. Cool, right?"

Agni's eyes widened almost comically as he took in the dark tattoo drawn onto the thin, pale skin stretched over the back of Sebastian's left hand. It was a pentagram, surrounded by the word 'Tetragrammaton' in thick cursive, and there were several smaller words and symbols Agni couldn't make out. With a jolt, he was suddenly reminded of a time not so long ago, when he did as he pleased with no thought towards the suffering of others. He shivered uneasily at the memories.

"Not really… It's kind of creepy. Why do you have that?" Soma said eventually. "And aren't you underage anyways?"

"It was a sixteenth birthday present from Claude a few days before we left my old town. It was easy enough to get my dad to sign the minor consent form. Just a little reminder that I can't forget the demons of my past - my demons make me who I am."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence between the three boys after that comment, so Sebastian picked up a tray and began piling it high with food.

"Anyways," Sebastian continued where he'd left off a few minutes ago, smiling drily. "Thanks again for your blessing – and the advice. It really means a lot to me. See you."

With that, Sebastian turned coolly on his heel, paid for his food and left the cafeteria without a backwards glance - leaving Soma and Agni to shake off the unnerving feeling he had left them with.


	3. Sorrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel is hesitant to accept Sebastian, and his anxiety comes out to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: bad jokes, slut-shaming (sorry), and Ciel being traumatized.

**Part 3: Sorrows**

**"When sorrows come, they come not single spies - but in battalions."**

* * *

 

"So…Sebastian's pretty hot, yeah?" said Alois a few moments after the three other boys had left, wiggling his carefully-plucked eyebrows at Ciel. Ciel looked up from the chess game he had been playing on his phone. _And losing._ "Looks like a nice fuck, and God knows you need it."

_Alois, you fucking -_

Hannah nodded obediently in agreement, which did nothing to assuage Ciel's growing displeasure.

Ciel fought not to throw something at his idiotic blonde friend, instead opting to squeeze his eyes shut and sigh in a practice of patience.

"Unlike you, Alois," Ciel began slowly, "I'm not a fucking slut. I don't throw myself at every random guy that comes by. Offense intended, Claude."

At that, Alois and Elizabeth, who were well-accustomed to Ciel's particularly twisted sense of humor, cackled good-naturedly and Derrick laughed nervously, quietly. Ciel smirked at seeing how blatantly uncomfortable he was. "Well, some taken," Claude responded, faint irritation seeming to pass through his gaze.

Ciel rolled his eyes grandly and, in doing so, caught sight of Sebastian coming back around the corner from the entrance to the cafeteria, Soma and Agni not far behind. Sebastian was carrying a tray piled high with food and grinning.

Alois followed his gaze and abruptly stopped laughing. "Come on—just look at that  _look_ in his eyes, Ciel! He's clearly _starving_ for you," he said dramatically, sending Elizabeth into a fit of squealing giggles. Derrick's awkward chuckles continued.

When Ciel _did_ look into Sebastian's eyes, he did see _something._ He wouldn't admit it to anyone other than himself, but seeing that dark, determined, almost demonic edge to his crimson gaze did kind of turn him on.

Only a _little._

Sebastian reached the table and sat down next to Ciel, setting the tray down carefully so as to not spill any of the food. Amiably, he asked, "So, what were you guys talking about?"

Ciel opened his mouth to reply but was beat to the punch by Alois.

"Nothing important!" the blonde said cheerily. "On a completely unrelated note, I just want to let you know future reference that Ciel is, in fact, single and has an absolutely gorgeous body underneath all those layers of clothing." He winked, just as Soma and Agni reached the table.

Before Ciel could control his blush and retort sharply back, Sebastian responded, with a noncommittal smirk, "Good to know."

After a few moments' pause, Sebastian followed up. "And how _would_ you know that, Alois? Have you and Ciel had sex in the past?" he asked quite bluntly, eyes sparking with mischief and a bit of genuine curiosity.

Derrick choked on his macaroni.

Alois laughed brightly. "I _wish_! Not like I didn't try. I'm not really his type, though," he revealed, suddenly pouting and shooting a look at Ciel. Ciel noticed that Claude's gaze grew suddenly more intense at Alois's admission.

Ciel's blush deepened impossibly further as he recalled the brazen advances Alois had made not too long ago. "I'm right here, you know," he snapped irritably.

"So sorry, babe," Alois replied jauntily. "I just thought that Sebastian here should know what he'll be missing out on if he doesn't tap that ass."

Alois then gracelessly climbed over Claude to stroke Ciel's pale, faintly blushing cheek. "Maybe I could convince you to change your mind about me?"

"You're pitiful, Alois. Like I'd ever want you," Ciel replied coldly.

This wasn't one-hundred percent true, as Alois very well knew. That awful day, just this past summer, Ciel had actually come _quite_ close to allowing Alois to have him fully. It had been during one of the lowest points of his life thus far, and Ciel would probably never be able to completely trust Alois because he had taken advantage of that for something as trivial as sex. Alois pouted again, though Ciel could tell Alois knew what he was thinking, and sat back in his seat, wrapping both of his arms around Claude's torso. "Ah, well. I'll always have Claude, anyways."

Sebastian suddenly decided to speak up again, changing the subject. "Ciel, why aren't you eating anything?"

Ciel was grateful for the fact that several conversations began around the table shortly after that, so that he could talk to Sebastian without other people interjecting.

"I don't eat much besides sweets," Ciel answered, leaning his chin on his fist and giving his full attention to the taller boy as his parents had taught him from a very young age. "Especially when it comes to that shitty school food."

"Ah, I see…" Sebastian replied. "Well, typically I would make lunch for Claude and me – I really like cooking. I could totally make lunch for you as well, if you'd like."

Ciel was surprised, to say the least. He found himself unsure of how to respond. "Oh, that's not necessary – "

"It's no trouble at all, Ciel. I'd hate to see you starve," Sebastian insisted, that charming smile still filling Ciel's line of vision.

Ciel considered it for a few more moments. Then, a very brief, but _very_ intriguing, image of Sebastian docilely standing at a stove and preparing dinner passed through his mind. The thought of it made him laugh quietly.

"Something funny?"

"It's nothing…just that I can't imagine you doing something so… _domestic_ as cooking or baking," Ciel said, covering his mouth.

Sebastian smirked again, clearly amused. "What, does it detract from the masculine image I project?"

Ciel scoffed. "Maybe."

Sebastian's eyes glinted again with that mischievous light as he shifted closer to Ciel on the already too-short bench, leaning in to achieve maximum effect. "Well, I can assure you; I'm one-hundred percent male, Ciel," he whispered with a small smirk.

Ciel's eyes narrowed, even as some parts of his body betrayed him by taking interest. _I don't doubt that._ "Why is every other sentence out of your mouth some sort of awful pickup line?"

"You just bring out that side of me, I guess," Sebastian murmured in reply. Ciel scoffed, not impressed.

"Ciel!" Elizabeth suddenly shouted excitedly, even though Ciel was only two feet away. Ciel started in surprise, suddenly feeling disoriented as Sebastian pulled back and out of Ciel's personal space. "When are your auditions for 'A Midsummer's Night Dream' again?"

Ciel exhaled slowly, a deep, long-suffering sigh that spoke of years of anguish. But before he could berate the flighty blonde, Sebastian perked up. "Ciel, you're in theater as well? Why didn't you tell me?"

Ciel frowned, mildly irritated. "Well, it's not as if we've known each other for a grand total of two hours or anything." He added, "And firstly, Elizabeth, you uncultured swine, it's not 'A Midsummer's Night Dream'; it's A Midsummer Night's Dream. God. Secondly, the audition is on Friday."

Elizabeth was immediately pissed off at Ciel's treatment. "Hey, I am _not_ swine, Ciel! And you know by now to call me Lizzy, not Elizabeth!" she screeched.

Her new flavor of the month winced, then bravely leapt into the fray. "Yeah, Ciel. Saying swine _was_ a bit overboard."

"Really?" entered Alois, drawing out the word with a laugh. "I thought it was pretty fucking appropriate. I mean, come on…look at how pink she is. Lizzy does look a bit pig-like right now, right?"

"Yeah, I have to agree," Soma put in, clearly holding back giggles as he spoke. "Her nostrils are flaring, too."

And just like that, one offhanded remark and everyone was bickering about whether or not Elizabeth looked like a pig.

_Idiots. There are idiots all around me._

Ciel rolled his eyes in exasperation, turning his attention back toward his phone, where he could see that his computerized opponent had quite soundly and thoroughly kicked his ass. He sighed.

"So…acting?" Sebastian prompted a few minutes later. "Can you at least tell me about that?"

Ciel huffed, shortly this time. "Yeah, I guess," he drawled, pushing some hair out of his left eye.

"I've been acting since I was probably about ten. My parents liked to read me Shakespeare instead of Dr. Seuss or whatever, when I was younger. So, naturally, I took a liking to Shakespeare. I'm in musical theater at this school, and the school does a Shakespeare play every year. I'm sure as hell not very well-liked, though, and the auditions are almost entirely student-run, so I didn't get a part last year, and I probably won't get one this year. The auditions are this Friday; I'm going for the part of Robin Goodfellow," Ciel finished.

"What a shame," Sebastian lamented softly. "Can I help you with your audition at all…so that you have the best chance possible of getting your part?"

Ciel realized just what was happening at that same moment that he opened his mouth to reply ( _which was not a good thing for his verbal filter_ ). As a result, what came out was: "I don't need your charity, Sebastian."

Sebastian frowned slightly. "That's not – "

Ciel sighed again, cutting him off. " – what you meant? Sure it was. You were probably hoping to get a fuck out of it, too. No thanks, Casanova."

Sebastian looked marginally surprised, and as Ciel stood from the table, annoyed with himself, Sebastian and the whole situation, he didn't see Claude's satisfied smirk. Sebastian watched with an unreadable look on his face as Ciel disappeared around a corner. After Ciel was out of sight, Claude made sure no one was paying attention to them before he began speaking quietly to Sebastian. "Casanova? He's got a lot of jokes, doesn't he? And you're an idiot, Sebastian."

Sebastian grimaced, turning his face away from the majority of the table as he did so. "Shut up. Like you know anything, Claude. Just back the hell off, alright?" He glanced around the table to make sure that no one was listening to his conversation with his older cousin. "I learned my lesson; I'll adjust. So just…leave me alone for the moment."

Claude sighed and adjusted his glasses. "Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, stud."

Sebastian frowned again but turned away, rejoining the conversation with an easygoing smile.

* * *

Ciel shut his eyes and leaned against the wall.

As soon as he had left the lunch table, he'd checked his phone and seen that there were still fifteen minutes left to waste in his lunch block. He actually hadn't been that upset initially, but goose bumps were trailing up his arms, and Ciel was suddenly feeling cold and bereft. He had walked as quickly as possible away from the lunchroom, just seeing the odd look on Agni's face as he left. His trembling hands told him that he just needed to be alone. So he'd come to the nearest bathroom. Ciel hid in the handicap stall, slid to the floor, plugged in his headphones, and escaped from reality. The dulcet tones of a soft, woeful cello solo filled his ears, a Brahms. It was the piano quartet that Ciel had been listening to for as long as he could remember. Ciel sunk into memory.

* * *

 _"_ _I'd say he's worth a fortune. Just look at those fucking eyes. Never been touched, that's for sure."_

 _"_ _I don't know, man…he looks a bit young, Hughston."_

 _"_ _You dumbass, people are into that."_

_Ciel shivered in fear, his tiny hands crossed over his naked abdomen as if trying to hold himself together. Dried tears laid across his pale cheeks, still round with the fat of his baby years. A myriad of inflamed, bloodied lashes littered the otherwise perfectly smooth skin of his back. His cerulean eyes, while broken, glared with the embers of indignation. He could not, however, restrain a conditioned whimper when the shorter of the two men moved closer to his cage._

_"_ _D-don't…don't touch me," Ciel whispered, voice hoarse from screaming in agony just hours before._

 _"_ _Oh, don't you worry, Ciel," the man replied, laughing. "I won't be. You'll be going to the highest bidder."_

 _"_ _Is anyone still gonna want him with all that shit on his back?" the other man asked doubtfully._

 _"_ _Dammit, Thummel. How the hell is that my fault? I told you to be careful with him, and you went and whipped him. If we don't get the money for him, then you'll be paying for it, you fucking idiot."_

_The stockier man then turned back to Ciel, smiling cruelly. "You better hope someone makes you their bitch, Ciel. If not, we'll have to sell you in parts instead of the whole package."_

_Ciel exhaled shakily. "G-guh…" he started to say. A wheezing cough wracked the eleven-year-old's body before he continued weakly. "G-go…to h-hell. You d-dick."_

_The man named Hughston sneered – he had quite an ugly face - but turned on his heel and left the room, muttering agitatedly about damaged goods and ferociously kicking a bucket over as he went._

_The other man, Thummel, remained, seeming increasingly anxious as Ciel continued to stare coldly at him. "Heh, he's just...uh…" He never finished the sentence, eventually opting to simply leave the room awkwardly._

_Ciel sighed and slowly turned over, sinking into a restless sleep with no hope of rescue in sight._

* * *

Ciel was jarred out of the painful recollection by the chorus of the next song on his only playlist, Carolina Liar's _Show Me What I'm Looking For_. He yanked the earbuds out and tucked them into his pocket with a deep sigh. Ciel rubbed his good eye blearily, momentarily confused as to why he was sitting on a filthy bathroom floor covered in only-God-knows-what liquids and substances, before he realized that it was probably nearing the end of his lunch break. He scrambled up from the not-white tiles, wobbling for a second in his heeled boots – which he was wholeheartedly regretting wearing today – and wrenched open the stall door.

Only to come face-to-face with Claude.

"Uh…hey," Ciel said uncomfortably, backing away slightly even as he spoke.

"Hey. Alois wanted me to make sure you were okay," he replied, which made no sense. Ciel's gaze narrowed suspiciously when Claude's eyes fell to where his shorts had ridden up slightly due to his sitting position. Self-consciously, he tugged down the legs, which redirected Claude's stare to his face. _Marginally better._ "Everyone's leaving lunch and you weren't back yet, so - "

"Why the hell couldn't Alois come see me himself?" Ciel retorted shortly, trying to edge away from the much larger boy.

"He said he had to go talk to his Spanish teacher," Claude responded neutrally, although Ciel noted that an unreadable emotion passed across his gaze as he spoke.

 _Sure,_ Ciel thought dubiously.

Outwardly, he sighed. "Whatever. I'm gonna be late for Physics," he said, turning for the exit and effectively shutting the door on that conversation. He strode out straight-backed, and a few seconds later, he heard Claude's footsteps fade off in the direction of the gym building.

Uneasiness gripped Ciel's heart like a vice as he walked quickly away from the bathroom, feeling as though maybe he should just get a sick pass from the nurse and get Angelina to pick him up. At that moment, his phone vibrated in his pants pocket. After unlocking it, he read a text from his aunt.

 _Speak of the devil, and he shall appear,_ Ciel thought.

_Hey honey, I have a date tonight, I won't be home til around 12. So youll be home by yourself for a few hours more than normal, ok?_

Ciel's eyebrows rose slightly, and he sent a brief response. _Sure._

His aunt, who had been  _devastated_ when Vincent had died almost four years ago, was going on a _date_? _Who the hell with?_

 _And why does she, of all people, get to move on from this when I...while I'm still so affected by the incident all this time later?_ Ciel thought bitterly, shoving his phone back into his pocket with a short exhale.

The next few hours seemed to pass in no time at all. Ciel had felt like he was in a daze as he passed through Physics and English, Sebastian silent at his side.

He leaned back on a short brick wall near the bus ramp, listening to Soma chatter at him about his Home Ec class and feeling even more anxious than he had right after the memory, even more than he had when Aleister had assaulted him in Theory class that morning.

_Well, Tanaka will be home with me, but that isn't exactly reassuring._

Soma seemed to notice that he was thinking about something. "Hey, Ciel? What's up?" he asked, concern clearly seeping through in his tone.

"Oh, it's…it's nothing. Do you…Soma, do you want to come over to my house?" Ciel asked hesitantly. It usually wasn't him asking people to come over, so he felt a little bit uncomfortable.

Soma looked surprised at first at the sudden question, but his facial expression quickly turned ecstatic. "Yeah, of course! Like, right now?"

Ciel really felt like he didn't want to be alone for any stretch of time, so he nodded slowly. "Yeah, if that's okay."

Soma's smile seemed to soften into something different – something more understanding, and Ciel felt a miniscule portion of his nerves disappear. "Okay, let's go." He then pulled Ciel towards his bus with a loose grip on his wrist.

* * *

Ciel smirked at his laptop screen as he crushed Soma for the fifth time that afternoon. "Mate."

"Dammit, Ciel," Soma groaned, frustrated. "I'm _bored._ " He dragged out the word unnecessarily as he turned off the monitor of Ciel's other computer. "Can we play something other than computer chess? You always win anyway."

"Well, that _is_ kind of the point," he laughed, not unkindly. "Sure, what do you want to do?" Ciel asked with a small, indulgent smile, feeling far more relaxed than he had just a few hours ago when they'd gotten home. He stretched out like a cat on his couch, smiling contentedly.

"Well, I texted Lizzy a few minutes ago saying tha – "

"You _what_?" Ciel shouted, the pleasant warmth dissipating from his mind in an instant. "Why?"

"Well, you're being boring. So I invited Lizzy over," Soma replied plainly, seeming to genuinely not realize the sheer magnitude of his mistake.

"Man, I thought you understood. She _talks,_ Soma _._ She's gonna tell Alois, and he'll bring Claude, who will bring Sebastian. I didn't want a bunch of people in my house tonight, Soma… _Fuck_ ," Ciel moaned, covering his face with well-manicured hands.

"Oh, jeez, Ciel. Don't be so lame," Soma laughed good-naturedly. "It's just a few of your own friends. It won't hurt you to just hang out with them…The night is still young," he said, gesturing to the large windows framing the orange, late afternoon sun.

"Whatever." Ciel relented a few moments later, resigned to his fate. "They should be here any – "

Ciel was cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing, followed by Tanaka, the household's kind and elderly groundskeeper, answering it. A few moments later, Tanaka walked into the living room, toting around a pile of coats, with _exactly_ the four people Ciel had just mentioned.

"Well," Ciel began, pasting on a solid smile. "Welcome to the party, my friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the hit. Leave a comment or kudos. :)


	4. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian propositions Ciel, who is uncomfortable (and delaying the inevitable).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: A brief mention of smexy times between Claude and Alois, an unsubtle Angelina/Grell moment, Ciel being sad, sick and self-deprecating, and some cursing.  
> Wowwwww, it's been a while since I updated here. I'm currently writing Part 9, and I'll try to update again here next week. :O

**Part 4: Talk**

**"I just want to talk."**

* * *

Ciel reclined comfortably on his couch; he only tensed marginally as Alois curled up next to him on the cream-colored couch cushion.

Alois looked down at him with uncharacteristically sweet eyes, stroking down the center of Ciel's chest. It reminded Ciel of many warm summer nights spent in almost exactly the same fashion, with an old favorite rolling on the big screen and Alois's soft blonde hair tickling against his ear as their legs tangled underneath a blanket. "I'm sorry I was such a dick earlier. Thanks for letting me into your house, Ciel."

Ciel looked up at the ceiling, sighing quietly and wishing that he didn't love Alois so much. "Whatever. Just don't bring up that shit again."

When Alois, Sebastian, Claude and Lizzy had arrived in his living room, Ciel was initially hard-pressed to hold back the urge to toss them all out. But then, Sebastian, Claude and Soma had all started using the Wii while Lizzy went upstairs to pick through Ciel's outfits. Alois had puttered around for a bit, touching pictures and things (biding his time) before coming to lay down on the couch next to Ciel. And surprisingly, Ciel wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as he had expected to be. He actually…enjoyed having the all of the people in his home. He felt safer.

Though he still didn't feel safe enough to take the switchblade out of his pocket.

Alois's apology was more than likely for more than just bringing up _The Incident_ , which Ciel was well-aware of. It was for making fun of Elizabeth, for trying to hook Sebastian up with Ciel, and for getting with a random stranger the previous night. Alois was apologizing for all of the behavior that he very well knew Ciel didn't approve of, but Ciel knew from experience that it was all in vain.

_Alois will always be Alois._

_And I will always forgive him._

"So, Auntie had a date?" Alois prompted, gripping Ciel's hip and stroking the exposed strip of skin between his tank top and sweatpants as he spoke. Ciel was consciously okay with it, as it _was_ Alois, after all. However, his body still involuntarily protested somewhat against the familiar touch, and he tensed slightly. Sebastian turned around upon hearing Alois's voice, and irritation passed across his face as he took in the mess of limbs tangled on the couch.

"Yeah," Ciel replied, a note of wonder in his voice. As if there had been no friction between them in the first place, Ciel and Alois fell into their usual comfortable chatting. "When I asked about him, she said he was 'very cute'. Tall, long brown hair, green eyes, and glasses. Kind of quiet, though, and works in education," he finished.

"Ew," said Alois. "Doesn't sound like her type at all."

"Yeah, that's what I've been thinking," Ciel answered honestly. "Although, he does sound a bit like Dad."

Alois seemed to hesitantly agree, a rare show of tact. "Uh…yeah. I kind of thought that too."

Ciel's father, while he'd been very popular amongst his schoolmates in high school, had really been quite the bashful loner up until about seventh grade. Ciel had seen many photos of Vincent from when he was in elementary and middle school. He had worn his hair a bit long, and kept black browline glasses perched in front of his warm brown eyes. Ill-fitting clothes, a weight that refused to catch up with his height and a guitar constantly strapped to his back completed the persona. When he reached puberty, however, his build filled out, he began wearing contacts, and suddenly he was a completely different person. Girls flocked to him in droves, guys either worshipped the ground he walked on or envied him to no end, and the majority of the teachers thought he was one of the few students in the entire school worth anything. Ciel seriously doubted that his aunt's new boy toy could match up with that.

Ciel rolled his eyes and scoffed at Alois's awkward answer. Out of all of his friends, Alois tended to be the most understanding and cautious when it came to Ciel's parents. And, most of the time, Ciel appreciated it _\- immensely_ \- but sometimes he wished that Alois wouldn't walk on eggshells around him. As much as he pretended to hate his friend's intense personality, Ciel often envied him for his strength and would rather see Alois be himself all of the time.

As he rolled his eyes, Ciel caught sight of the framed photo sitting on a coffee table nearby. It was one of the few physical photographs of his parents that Angelina had salvaged after the fire took nearly everything from him. It was a sweet picture from his parents' wedding day. Rachel Phantomhive, in all her glowing glory, was smiling euphorically. Her normally soft and mild face was set to burst with ecstasy as she perched in her newlywed's arms, the wispy, white veil framing her angelic features. Vincent was placing a kiss on her upon her pinked cheek, his eyes closed and his posture relaxed and content as he held his wife like the princess she was. However, in the background, just right of Rachel's flat white shoe, a mess of crimson could be seen – Angelina stood, in her ruby-colored, skin-tight dress, flashy lipstick, and her signature bright red hair pulled up into an elaborate bun. She would look positively stunning if it weren't for the absolute contempt clearly showing through in her forced smile and the furiously envious – yet fitting – scarlet flush adorning her cheeks.

As a young, naïve child, Ciel had always thought the picture a pleasing memory from his parents' past captured in a moment. It was a beautiful relic depicting what his life could become, if he could be so lucky as to find his soul mate like his parents did. However, once he'd escaped from those bastards who had kidnapped him – sold him into a life of pain, humiliation and violation – he began seeing it as a cruel reminder that when someone wins, everybody else has to lose.

And Ciel wanted to win.

Alois's hand tightened against Ciel's abdomen, and Ciel looked up at him dazedly, having been lost in his thoughts. "You okay?" he asked quietly. "You're shaking." Ciel glanced down at his lap, where, lo and behold, his hand was balled into a tight fist, trembling and tense. Ciel then untangled himself from Alois, climbing off of the couch unsteadily. Alois reached for him with a question in his eyes, but Ciel brushed off his worries.

"Don't worry," Ciel gave a false smile. "Just going to the bathroom."

Alois's eyebrows knitted together in concern, but he let his hand drop and watched Ciel walk away.

* * *

Fifty-seven minutes later, Ciel had yet to return.

"Ciel?" Ciel heard his name being called from a few rooms away.

_Fuck._

Ciel was currently kneeling on the soft, black carpet of the bathroom attached to his bedroom, barely able to keep his head up from the bowl. He was in the dark, as his episodes always left him with agonizing headaches and a painful sensitivity to light. The leftover acidic taste stung in the back of his throat, and he coughed weakly, running his hand through his hair and slumping pathetically to the floor just as the door was wrenched open. Ciel winced slightly as he heard the doorknob smack against the wall and light from the hallway flooded the room. "You idiot, don't…" here he was forced to break off and swallow painfully. "…don't do that, you'll dent the wall."

Sebastian scooped Ciel up into his arms and sat him on the counter as if he were a baby. "I'm not a fucking child, Sebastian," Ciel snapped - or at least, he tried to, but his voice came out wrecked and nearly inaudible - leaning against the wall even as he spoke. His eye blearily followed Sebastian around the room as he frantically looked for something.

"That…that closet to your left. T-top shelf," Ciel rasped, lifting his left hand to make the gesture.

"Thanks," Sebastian answered. He retrieved a small black rag from the top shelf – just like Ciel had said – and wet it under the faucet.

"What the fuck happened?" Sebastian asked suddenly, as he gently wiped Ciel's face. "Weren't you just going to use the bathroom?"

Ciel frowned, feebly attempting to bat away Sebastian's hands. "Didn't I just say I'm not a kid? I can wipe my own damn face," he hissed back, suddenly with more energy. "I hardly know you, so don't touch me like that."

Sebastian's eyes, just for an instant, revealed a strange emotion that Ciel instinctively flinched back from. Then, he smiled gently, the moment gone as fast as it had come.

"Fair enough," Sebastian replied with a barely-there strain in his voice, backing up a step. He handed the cloth to Ciel, pointedly careful not to let their fingers touch. "Can you at least tell me what happened?"

Ciel sighed before continuing to wipe the vomit off of his cheeks. The situation had finally caught up with him, and he felt his cheeks flush with shame. "The same incident that took my eye was the same incident that took my parents," Ciel said in a very subdued manner. He had turned away from Sebastian and was staring at the reflection of his own face in the mirror. Even with the simple, black silk eye patch covering his ruined eye from view, Ciel could picture all too well, in his mind's eye, the odd violet discoloration and spider web of scars reaching outward from his eyelids. "The anniversary of their death is in a few weeks, and I always get like this around the date every year." He paused. "My therapist called it cyclic vomiting syndrome."

"That's all?" Sebastian asked softly, his face not revealing anything.

Ciel cautiously slid down from the counter, moving towards a different door than the one Sebastian had come through. When he pushed the door open, he came into his bedroom, just a few steps right of his bed. Ciel carefully padded over to the bed and climbed into it, feeling exhausted and fighting a pounding headache. Leaning back into his pillows and pulling the thick blanket up to his waist, he finally answered, "Yeah. That's all."

Ciel watched Sebastian take in his room. The room's walls were painted a deep blue with gold trim. The king-sized bed, pushed against the back wall, sat across from a large flat-screen and had a small black nightstand on either side. Heavy, soft drapes adorned the canopy bed, and Sebastian pushed one aside as he moved to sit next to Ciel.

"Ciel…" Sebastian started, then darted his eyes towards the floor. "I'm going to get something to drink."

Ciel rolled his eyes. "Why are you telling me?"

After Sebastian left, Ciel reached into the left-hand pocket of his sweatpants and pulled out his phone. As he reached the calendar app, he frowned slightly. The anniversary of Rachel and Vincent's death…and Ciel's kidnapping…was only thirteen days away. Chills ran down his spine, and he resisted throwing his phone at a wall as he had done many times in the past, instead opting to set it gently down onto the dresser next to his bed.

He moved into a more comfortable position on the bed, and then it occurred to him.

_"_ _I hardly know you..."_

Why _was_ Sebastian so familiar with him? Ciel wasn't especially attractive or enticing like Alois. He was blatantly, unabashedly caustic at worst and intentionally standoffish at best. And yet, Sebastian wanted to sit with him at lunch and in every class they had together. For some reason, Sebastian _flirted_ with him and made an attempt to converse with him. Somehow, Sebastian had wiped _vomit_ off of Ciel's face and not even hesitated once. Ciel winced inwardly at the still-fresh memory.

And _Claude –_ what a fucking creep. He banged Alois, and then immediately began pursuing Ciel? _Or am I misunderstanding his signals?_

Ciel sighed just as Sebastian opened his bedroom door again. "Tea?" Sebastian smiled as he approached the bed with a tray in his hands. Ciel's eyebrow shot up in surprise. "I saw the tea bags in a cabinet, and I just couldn't resist," Sebastian said, laughing slightly as he sat back down on the mattress. "Not to mention, I remembered from lunch that you liked sweets."

Ciel silently took in the tray, noting the two cups which emitted the aroma of… _Earl Grey?_ There was also a small plate holding a large slice of Ciel's leftover apple pie from a recent family reunion, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and some whipped cream to top it all off. Ciel promptly realized he was salivating, and he snapped his jaw shut. Sebastian took a cup from the tray, smiling pleasantly and watching Ciel over the rim of his cup with a steady, expectant gaze.

When he reached for a cup, he noticed that the color was a bit cloudy, meaning that milk had probably been added. _Promising._  He stared at it, hesitating because he knew that retching for nearly an hour straight left him dehydrated - and that he'd be better off with a bottle of water. _But then again_ , he thought, _fuck it_ , and he bravely took a sip.

And smirked, delighted.

"Nice work," Ciel finally said, breaking the long silence. "Almost how I prefer it." _He even added nearly the perfect amount of honey._

"I took a guess," Sebastian answered. Ciel was surprised at how Sebastian seemed almost as pleased as he himself felt. "I'm glad I wasn't far off. I like my tea black, so I wasn't sure how much milk and honey to put in." He took a sip of his own tea to punctuate the statement. Ciel nodded approvingly before drinking a bit more. He then began eating the slice of pie, with all the grace and propriety of a nineteenth century noble. After a few minutes, the fork was set on the tray with a metallic _chink_ and Sebastian moved the tray from Ciel's lap to the nightstand.

"Ciel, can I just say that I…really like you?" Sebastian said suddenly.

Ciel experienced an uncomfortable combination of shock ( _because_ wow _, thanks for the warning)_  and resignation ( _because_ honestly _, I'd have to be blind and an idiot not to have noticed_ ). Still, he hardly managed not to choke on the last morsel of his pie at the seemingly random statement. Eventually he stuttered out a "W-what?"

"Well, yeah, it's only been a day, but you…you've really taken my interest. It feels like I've known you for way longer than twelve hours," Sebastian explained a bit more, his gaze earnest as he looked unabashedly into Ciel's eyes. "And I get that you have…issues, so I can go slow if that's what you want. But I really want to go out with you."

Ciel's eyes had grown steadily wider as Sebastian spoke, and he exhaled slowly when the older boy finished. "Um…" Ciel had to stop and cough. "Let's try being just friends for more than a day first," he answered through the thickness in his throat.

Sebastian responded with a half-smile. "Sure. Whatever you say."

When Ciel looked up at Sebastian, trying to gauge his emotions, he found himself drawn into the taller boy's deep, crimson gaze; he subconsciously leaned forward, despite what he had said just moments ago.

He jolted away when the doorbell rang.

Making a face at the bedspread, Ciel slid out of the bed and made his way out of the room. He then stood at the balcony and watched the scene unfold before him with a peculiar combination of aggravation and amusement. Auntie Angelina had just arrived back at the manor with a man draped across her arm – a very drunk man. Ciel heard Sebastian chuckle behind him.

Claude and Alois were…well, they were desecrating his couch, to say the least. Alois – who had his pants and boxers around his knees, no less, the slut – was sprawled over the back of the couch, eyes squeezed shut tight in rapture (mercifully, he was being quiet) while Claude knelt on the dark, soft carpet, face pressed into the blonde boy's lap as he swallowed Alois's dick. Ciel felt his face heat up slightly at the lewd display despite his agitation. When his gaze shifted left slightly, he noticed that Soma was completely oblivious to everything around him, gaze fixated on Ciel's laptop as he likely worked hard at some sort of game. Ciel barely restrained a sigh.

Angelina seemed surprised at seeing all the people in the living room without warning, but not angry. That was probably only because she could only see the top of Alois's head over the couch from her position in the doorway. Ciel couldn't even _begin_ to imagine how Angelina would have reacted had she been able to see Alois being vigorously sucked off by a stranger on her living room couch.

"Angelina, what a-are all these children doing here? I th-thought you said you didn't h-have kids," the man stage-whispered drunkenly, looking genuinely anxious, and Alois burst out laughing, pushing Claude off of him.

"I take it back, Ciel – I think I love this guy!" Alois crowed, looking up at the balcony where he knew Ciel was standing. Swiftly, with hands that had years of practice, Alois buttoned and zipped up his jeans, tucking himself away with little more than a nearly-imperceptible wince. He turned around to face Angelina with a huge smile on his face, and Ciel watched as Claude brushed off his knees and stood as well.

Angelina's perceptive eyes tracked Claude's hand as he reached up and wiped what was likely a mixture of pre-cum and saliva from his slightly swollen lips with the back of his hand. Ciel could only hope she didn't put two and two together.

Ciel began making his way back down the stairs in an attempt to draw her attention, knowing Sebastian was only a few steps behind him. "Hello, Angelina. I thought you'd be back later."

"Yes, well…" she trailed off as she led the unsteady man over to the couch, seemingly shaking something off of her mind. "Grell here got a bit tired."

 _Grell?_ Ciel thought to himself disdainfully. _What the fuck kind of name is that?_

Ciel watched Grell's fuzzy yellow-green eyes reach Sebastian, who was looming over Ciel's shoulder. The man's eyes widened, and he sat up straighter on the couch cushion, cheeks flushing slightly as he pushed a lock of his long brown hair behind one ear.

 _Gay,_ Ciel thought immediately.

"I'm gonna go get you some water, okay?" said Angelina softly, stroking a hand over the top of Grell's head.

"Sure," Grell said unsteadily, seeming to barely hear her as he continued to stare at Sebastian.

When Angelina left, Ciel sat down on the couch next to Grell and stared at him for a while. "You dick," he said eventually.

Grell slid backwards on the couch, trembling slightly and suddenly sobering as his eyes snapped to Ciel in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"Why are you trying to date my aunt?" Ciel demanded of the older man. "Obviously, you're no straighter than I am."

Alois abruptly giggled from somewhere behind Ciel, then moved around the coffee table to stand near the armchair that Soma was occupying.

"U-um…" Grell trailed off quietly, eyes flitting away to Sebastian, who had moved to the couch's arm next to Ciel. "I'm not…that. I'm not a-a homosexual."

Alois broke down into laughter at that, and Grell seemed to tense up even further.

"Right," Ciel drawled, just as Angelina returned with a glass of water and a smile.

"Ciel, would you show your friends out? It's late," Angelina said suddenly.

Ciel didn't even check the time, instead opting to roll his eyes. "Madame, it's not even eight yet."

"Yes, but there's school tomorrow, Ciel Phantomhive. And you know better than to call me that."

Ciel sighed, then pulled out his phone. He hit speed-dial number 5 and began talking without preamble. "Can you get Elizabeth and bring her downstairs? She's probably in the seventh guest room. Thanks." He then abruptly hung up with another small sigh.

"Okay, fine. I called Tanaka to collect Elizabeth. Time to go, guys," Ciel said, standing up again. He was hardly in the mood to argue with his aunt.

Angelina stood in front of Grell and held out a hand with a sultry smile, eyes hooded with promise. "Join me in bed?" she asked. Grell flushed obscenely in response and accepted her hand, red talons and all.

Ciel grimaced when his aunt pulled the shaking man up against her generous bust. "Alright, alright."

When he moved towards the door, everyone followed. He opened the large wooden door, went out onto the porch and waited as the others chatted to fill the evening's silence. A few minutes later, Elizabeth came outside, holding a plastic bag. "Ciel, I'm borrowing some of your jewelry and a couple of shoes!" she squealed, smiling enormously.

Ciel rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just bring it back within a week."

After a brief kiss to Ciel's cheek, she skipped off of the porch and down the driveway to the street, as she only lived a few houses away from Ciel. Soma grabbed Ciel up in a tight embrace, then backed up and grinned hugely. "Bye, Ciel!" he said. "See you tomorrow!" All of Ciel's close friends lived in the same neighborhood, which made it easy for them to come over whenever they so desired. Lizzy had always lived just a few houses down, Soma lived across the street, and Alois lived right next door. So he had his friends over multiple times a week if he could. Soma ran down the driveway and across the street, opening the front door to his house and turning back to wave at the trio once more before he disappeared.

Alois pecked Ciel's nose quickly before backing away into Claude's arms with an odd smile. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, babe, but I kind of have a…problem that needs taking care of," the blonde teenager said, none-too-subtly gesturing towards his crotch.

Ciel refrained from allowing his gaze to follow the direction of Alois's hand. "If you plan to get off, _please_ get off of my porch first."

Sebastian and Claude snickered similarly at that, and it kind of creeped Ciel out. The moment passed quite quickly when Claude heaved Alois over his shoulder without so much as a grunt. "Bye, guys," Claude said, looking at Ciel for just a beat too long to be considered polite before he broke into a sprint and vaulted over the fence into Alois's front yard, Alois's hysterical laughter trailing after him. Ciel followed his movements with his eyes incredulously.

Ciel somewhat uncomfortably turned back to Sebastian once Alois and Claude had vanished into Alois's house. "Um…so I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Ciel hedged awkwardly, although he kept his eyes unflinchingly on Sebastian's as he spoke.

"Yeah," Sebastian answered, smiling blindingly. "I _am_ going to bring lunch for you tomorrow, by the way. Don't think I forgot about that, Ciel."

Ciel rolled his eyes, even as he combated a slight blush. To be honest, _he_ had forgotten about that conversation himself. "Whatever. I'd be an idiot to turn down free food anyway."

Ciel blinked once, and Sebastian was suddenly standing over him with a very determined facial expression. "Can I have your phone number?"

Ciel was caught slightly off guard. "I-I guess so..?" He ended like a question in his uncertainty, but he rattled it off to the older boy nonetheless.

Slipping his phone into his back pocket, Sebastian leveled an intent look at the much shorter boy. "I want you to seriously think about what I said earlier, Ciel." He leaned forward, and Ciel subconsciously inhaled the scent of Sebastian's breath – that warm and enticing cinnamon. He traced the sharp lines of Sebastian's jaw with his eyes and caught himself leaning in.

Jerking away, Ciel's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You mean about the 'let's date after knowing each other for less than a day' bit? Sure, Sebastian." Before he could say anything else, Ciel's deeply-ingrained distrust of new people overcame his uncharacteristic lust; he wrenched the door open and slammed it shut behind him.

Leaning heavily against the door as he listened to the other boy's footsteps fade away in the night air, Ciel sighed deeply, dragging a hand over his face in despair. "I'm so fucked," he whispered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment - much appreciated.


	5. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel gives in (it was inevitable).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ermahgerd, it's been so long. I'm sorryyyyy. And I tried to update this like a week ago, but my laptop failed me, and I had to start over. D: Anywho, here we go. I hope it's okay!  
> TW for mentions of vomiting, non-con non-graphic groping and mentions of rape.  
> WC: ~3800

**Part 5: Hope**

**"Abandon hope all ye who enter here."**

* * *

 

The din of the cafeteria increased as more students greeted their friends, made pointless conversation and relished in the thirty-five minutes of freedom that the lunch break provided.

Ciel was currently scowling down at the Cuban sub sitting innocuously on a napkin in front of him. Even though Sebastian had taken to making lunch for him for the past two days, Ciel still felt slightly uncomfortable eating food that he himself hadn't prepared or purchased. It didn't help that his typical diet consisted of desserts and candies, and he wasn't a very big fan of non-sweets.

Eventually, he worked up the nerve to pick it up; even then, however, he could not bring himself to eat it.

Ciel thought of the genuine, dazzling grin that Sebastian had given him on Wednesday, when he had eaten the first simple fruit spring rolls that the older boy had put together for him.

_"It's really good, Sebastian," Ciel praised, smiling slightly. "Thank you."_

_Sebastian beamed, and Ciel was briefly blinded by its brightness. "Thank_ you _for enjoying it."_

After hesitating for just another moment, Ciel slowly bit down into the sandwich. Almost instantaneously, a lovely harmony of flavors exploded over his tongue, and he very nearly smiled.

Alois suddenly clapped Ciel on the back boisterously and said, "What are you looking so happy about at ten in the morning on a Friday, Ciel?"

Ciel's eyebrow shot up and he choked slightly on the morsel, swallowing thickly and leveling a stern glare at Alois. "Well, I was somewhat happy until you tried to asphyxiate me, asshole."

And that was true.

Ciel had woken up this morning, and only then had he realised just how close it was to the anniversary of his parents' death. _It's Friday,_ he had thought incredulously. _I'm two days closer to December 14, and yet…I don't feel nearly as stressed as I usually do around this time._ Normally, Ciel spent the weeks before his birthday hunched over random toilets for anywhere between ten minutes and two hours, reacquaintancing himself with his breakfast until nothing remained but the sharp taste of gastric acid.

This year, all week he'd been distracted by Sebastian's persistence. As it turns out, Sebastian was unexpectedly perfect at _everything._

On Wednesday, Ciel had discovered that Sebastian was a phenomenal viola player. After orchestra class, Ciel had been beckoned over, and Sebastian had serenaded Ciel with a small excerpt from the viola part of Brahms's Piano Quartet No. 3. On Thursday, Sebastian had displayed his talent for writing poetry when he recited one of his own poems, _Odi et Amo_ , on the spot in English class _._ Ciel had been so completely absorbed in the rich baritone reverberating through the small classroom like a double bass that he had actually forgotten to pay attention to the words.

"It's just a good sandwich," Ciel mumbled, shaking off the memories.

Alois leaned in conspiratorially, whispering with a mouth full of disgusting school macaroni. "You know, Ciel…I wasn't joking when I said that Sebastian obviously wants you."

Ciel scoffed derisively at his younger friend, but said nothing in response.

Alois swallowed thickly and pouted. "No, really. Throw him a bone or _something_ , Ciel. He looks at you like you hold his dick in your hands," he insisted as he reached for the next spoonful of macaroni.

Ciel rolled his eyes. "It's 'heart in your hands', you moron."

Nevertheless, Ciel considered what his friend was trying to get across. Sebastian had made it pretty clear on Tuesday night in Ciel's bedroom – and again on the porch, no less – that he was interested in some sort of relationship. But considering how uncomfortable Ciel was with casual touch, he didn't honestly think that he was anywhere near being able to accept a sexual touch; no matter how slow Sebastian thought he could go, teenage boys would always be teenage boys.

 _I suppose I could at least make an effort and see where it goes,_ Ciel thought reluctantly. _I still have complete control over the situation._

Ciel's attention was drawn away from Alois when he heard Sebastian's quickly-growing-familiar chuckle. Sebastian and Claude were slowly making their way over to the table, and Sebastian seemed to be laughing at whatever joke his older cousin had told him. Chills ran down Ciel's spine as he inadvertently locked eyes with Claude, and he glared splenetically to offset the feeling.

"Hey, Ciel," Sebastian said, sitting down next to him with the smile still lingering on his face. Sebastian's usual baritone never failed to send pleasurable sparks down Ciel's spine.

"Hi," Ciel replied, shaking off the feeling. He set down his sandwich and pinned Sebastian with a marginally more serious look than the one Sebastian was currently giving him. "Can we…go talk for a moment?"

Sebastian's eyes narrowed slightly. "Sure, let's go," he replied, a small smile taking up residence on his face.

Alois smirked at Ciel as the latter stood, and Ciel scowled back in response, daring him to say something inane. Alois mimed zipping his mouth shut and turned to talk to Elizabeth.

Ciel quickly led Sebastian over toward a little brick alcove, where he leaned back against the wall and sighed, rubbing his cheek.

"So…I know I've kept you waiting for a few days," Ciel started slowly. "And I know that we parted on fairly bad terms Tuesday night."

"I…gave what you said some thought," he continued hesitantly. And he had. He'd nearly torn his hair out weighing the pros against the cons of entering a relationship at this point in his life, which was a welcome distraction from his impending birthday. He'd thought of Sebastian's warm red gaze, which promised a lot of things Ciel hoped Sebastian could follow through on. He'd thought about the fact that he had only known Sebastian for a week, and he wondered if he was mistaking intense sexual attraction for something deeper. He'd absolutely _not_ jerked off several times thinking about him (although he had come very close all of those times, Ciel Phantomhive prided himself on his limitless self-restraint).

"I want to hang out this weekend," Ciel said quickly, trying valiantly – and failing, as his eyes kept darting away – to keep his gaze on Sebastian's face in order to catch his reaction.

As Ciel watched, a sort of carnal pleasure seemed to pass through Sebastian's stare, causing a dark flush to steal across Ciel's cheeks. He smiled magnificently immediately after, though, so Ciel almost thought he'd imagined it.

"What sort of hanging out would we be doing, Ciel?" Sebastian asked, his voice low and intimate.

"I-it's just a concert," Ciel stammered, then cleared his throat when he heard his voice crack embarrassingly. Sebastian had stepped closer and leaned up against the wall next to Ciel, and suddenly the younger boy was getting the impression that he was a tiny, defenseless rabbit imprisoned in the trap of a large, predatory cat. The façade of control that Ciel usually wielded so well was in a pile at his feet like so much trash.

"Arthur is performing with his band tomorrow in Seattle, and I'm going with Alois, Soma, Hannah, Agni and my other friend Sieglinde," Ciel rushed out in his discomfort at the unexpectedly rapidly intensifying situation. "So it's not like…a date or something," he awkwardly finished.

The mischievous glint in Sebastian's eyes had yet to dim, and Ciel couldn't look at his face anymore, feeling as though if he did, he might do something he'd regret later.

As he stared down at his tightly-laced black leather boots (hopefully they wouldn't be as dirty as his favorite blue ones had ended up being after Tuesday), Sebastian suddenly spoke again, his voice cloying and warm. "Ciel, look at me."

Ciel slowly tilted his face back up, only to find Sebastian a few mere inches away. Ciel's well-used fight-or-flight instinct instantly began battling with his undeniable attraction to Sebastian, and his entire body tensed as he tried to decide whether he should run or not.

_Come on, Ciel. Get a goddamn grip on yourself. It's just a conversation._

Sebastian's scrutiny softened into a searching look as his eyes roved over Ciel's face, and Ciel felt an unexpected phantom dart of pain in his damaged eye.

Sebastian lifted one soft hand to gently cup Ciel's left cheek, and the younger boy's eyes widened to the size of saucers.

_-slapped around by random strangers—_

_-yanked down to take two cocks in my mouth—_

_-my face slamming brutally into the unforgiving concrete—_

The images flashed through Ciel's mind in rapid succession, and a burning, clawing feeling arose in his throat.

_Fuck. I'm gonna throw up all over –_

"Ciel, listen to me," Sebastian said quietly, gaining Ciel's attention. "I'm not going to hurt you," he continued slowly. "There's no need to be so anxious. You're in control."

As if the phrase were a trigger, the rigidity in Ciel's body seeped away, and all that was left was a vague sense of lingering lightheadedness and a slight bit of discomfort.

_What the hell?_

Sebastian smiled soothingly as if he could hear what Ciel was thinking. Leaning all the way in, he tenderly pressed his lips against Ciel's flaming crimson cheek—near Ciel's own mouth but not on it, and instead of being uncomfortable, Ciel was…touched.

"I get that you have things going on inside your head that can't be fixed right away, Ciel. But that's no reason to push me, or any of your friends, for that matter, away from you," Sebastian whispered into the reddened skin. "Give me a chance."

Ciel shut his eyes and sighed quietly. Hand trembling slightly, he reached for Sebastian's shoulder to push him regain and regain some much-needed control. Sebastian straightened obligingly, backing up a bit and staring expectantly.

Without a word, Ciel grabbed Sebastian's left hand – and it was only then that he noticed the pentagram tattoo – and squeezed it briefly, looking purposefully up into the taller boy's crimson eyes as he did so.

Then, he turned and made his way back to the table, knowing Sebastian would follow.

* * *

Alois nudged Claude with his shoulder and whistled lowly. "Damn, I haven't seen Ciel even _mildly_ turned on in a while. It's pretty hot."

Claude thoroughly examined the slim body that Sebastian currently had pinned against the brick wall. As he took in the milky white legs trembling with tension and accentuated by knee-high black leather boots, the flushed pink skin of his round cheeks and slender, unblemished neck, and the deeply conflicted look in his clear blue eyes, Claude was inclined to agree. Out loud, he halfheartedly conceded. "I suppose," he whispered softly. He then leant in, slinging an arm over Alois's shoulder and bringing him in closer. "But he's not really my type. I only desire to devour you…" he whispered into Alois's ear before nipping at it. Alois giggled and tilted his head so as to provide Claude with a better angle.

Even as he did so, though, Claude couldn't help but think about how much sweeter Ciel's skin would have tasted.

* * *

Ciel glanced around at his competition and smirked. There were only two other guys. The audition seemed like it was going to be easier than expected. One of the boys, Christian Cabello, was currently styling his sleek, shoulder-length hair. The other boy, Dartagnan Foster, was rapidly reading through his lines and stumbling over them repeatedly. Ciel, on the other hand, was calmly relaxing in a rolling chair, mentally turning the short monologue over and over in his head.

He had practiced for this moment every minute that he wasn't busy. His words would not falter, and his face would not break - he was sure of it. All that was left was to make sure that the judges believed in him as much as he himself did.

When Ciel's name was finally called, he approached the door with a new demeanor, adopting a mien of mischief. The moment he set foot in the room, the chatter stopped.

Ciel calmly smiled and introduced himself without preamble. "Hello, I'm Ciel Phantomhive. I'm auditioning for the role of Robin Goodfellow."

The leftmost judge smirked at Ciel, who internally winced. The bleached-blonde hair and purple contacts were all too familiar. Using his years of practice, though, Ciel pushed down the instinctive revulsion he always felt in Aleister's presence and slipped completely and seamlessly into the part of Robin Goodfellow.

" _Now the hungry lion roars, and the wolf behowls the moon…"_

He freely moved about the room as he spoke, using the full extent of his limbs and portraying the character through his facial expressions. When he reached the final line of the monologue, he locked eyes with the judge seated in the center - the one he knew would be making the final decision - quirking his lips up at the corners in a half smile.

" _I am sent with broom before, to sweep the dust behind the door._ "

For effect, Ciel gave a sarcastic little bow, and then he left without looking back.

Twenty minutes later, Ciel was sliding into the passenger's seat in Sebastian's car, the red Tesla Model S that Alois had emerged from earlier that week. He sighed deeply, pushing his bangs back with one hand. "How did it go?" Sebastian asked as he pulled out of the school parking lot. "Spectacularly," Ciel replied moodily, staring out of the window. "One of the issues is that one of the judges was Aleister Chamber. And he always does the same thing with every play I audition for."

At a red light, Sebastian slowed to a halt. While other cars passed, he gave Ciel a short look, encouraging him to go on.

"Tuesday, if you recall, he tried to convince me to fuck him," Ciel began, with no small amount of rancor. He watched Sebastian's hands flex slightly on the steering wheel with unrestrained interest. "If I say yes, he gives me a better rating on my audition. If I say no, then he gives me a zero."

"What about the other judges?" Sebastian replied tightly.

"Well, one of them was our school's very own Queen of the Homophobes, Mathilda Simmons, and as you can probably deduce, she detests me with a burning passion. She always gives me awful ratings. However, the one judge that may give me a chance is also the one that holds the most sway."

"And who might that be?" Sebastian prompted.

"Joanne Harcourt." Ciel answered. "He's quite open-minded, and very intelligent. Most importantly, he's a very good friend of the acting teacher, so he has the most say in who gets parts."

Ciel had found a rare acquaintance in Joanne, actually. Joanne's extensive knowledge of classical, Renaissance and Romantic literature impressed even him, and Ciel had had many engaging conversations with him. It was a shame that he was completely ace, because Ciel thought he was a very sweet boy.

"I'm not sure if Joanne will be enough, though," Ciel admitted begrudgingly. "We'll see in about a week."

After they pulled into Ciel's drive way and Sebastian shut the car off, the latter turned to Ciel and smiled softly. "You're so much better than them that it doesn't matter if you get the part, Ciel."

At the stroke to his ego, Ciel's acrimony simmered down to nothing. Outwardly, he rolled his eyes and climbed out of the car, even though he was secretly very pleased by Sebastian's praise. After giving Sebastian a brief wave, Ciel entered the house, fighting down a tiny pleased smile.

* * *

The next afternoon found Ciel staring himself down in the mirror. He supposed that he looked attractive. He wore light grey skinny jeans, heeled black boots that stopped halfway up his calves, and an oversized maroon cardigan over a thin black tank. His eyepatch was done up tightly as usual, and he had his inhaler packed away in a small shoulder bag. The outfit allowed for many hiding places, so he kept several very small, seemingly innocuous weapons on his person - just in case.

Just as he turned to leave, a knock sounded at the door to his bedroom. A few moments later, Angelina's boy toy hesitantly pushed it open. Ciel derisively rolled his eyes and sighed. The man was shaking so hard that the doorknob was rattling in his grasp.

"What, Grell?" Ciel asked, pointedly not deeming the older man worthy of eye contact as he put some discarding clothing away.

"S-someone is h-here to see you…" The brown-haired man stammered eventually, eyes darting towards the floor, the dresser, the window – anywhere but Ciel's face. "I mean – your friend Alois is here."

"Great," Ciel replied shortly, before flicking the light switch and rapidly striding past Grell to head downstairs.

"Hey, bae!" Alois shouted up at his younger friend as Ciel made his way downstairs. Alois was casually leaning against the doorframe, chatting with Angelina. Or he had been, until he'd seen Ciel and gotten excited.

Ciel uncomfortably accepted the hug Angelina gave him, and then he followed Alois outside to the dark grey 2015 Honda Odyssey occupying his driveway. Upon opening the side door, however, Ciel found himself letting out a disgruntled sigh. The back row of the minivan only provided two adult-sized seats, and Ciel was going to have to fit – _somehow_ – in the miniscule space between Claude and Sebastian. Sieglinde blew him a little kiss, seeming to enjoy his predicament, and Hannah laughed quietly behind her hand, likely of the same mind.

Seeing Ciel's hesitation, Sebastian smiled benignly, patting the space between his thigh and his cousin's encouragingly. Eventually, Ciel climbed awkwardly over Sebastian's lap and slid into the spot, finding that there was _just_ enough room. Claude smirked at him without saying a word, his eyes conveying malicious intent, and Ciel shivered.

_Clearly, he doesn't need to speak to scare the ever living shit out of me._

Suddenly, the car rumbled to life, and with it, the voyage to Seattle began.

* * *

"So, Ciel," Sebastian began after about forty minutes had passed on the drive. "What genre of music is Sherlocked?"

Plucking out his earbuds so he could be fully engaged in the conversation, Ciel leaned towards Sebastian to answer.

"I'm not really sure," Ciel admitted. The band had started off doing covers, and when they had begun writing original music, they'd forayed into several other genres and styles. "I know it's vague, but I suppose the closest description is indie rock. They do a bit of electronica, but usually not in concerts."

"Cool," Sebastian said genuinely.

For about fifteen minutes, Ciel and Sebastian had an amiable chat about the type of music they liked listening to, and Ciel actually found himself smiling – just a little bit. The atmosphere in the car was comfortable. Ciel was hardly even scowling as he listened to Hannah argue with Sieglinde over the merits of Twitter versus Tumblr.

Sieglinde – what a strange girl.

Sieglinde was one of Ciel's newer friends. She had dark hair that she cut short and spiked up with bright green highlights, matching her emerald-colored eyes. Ciel had met her at a concert – in fact, it was at the same location that they were currently heading to. She'd taken an immediate and seemingly unfounded interest in Ciel and been frighteningly persistent, actually going so far as to forcefully push him against a wall and shove her pierced tongue in his mouth. It had taken Ciel until she grabbed quite roughly at his ass to escape her grasp, his face ruddy with embarrassment and discomfort – he'd actually thrown up a bit in his mouth but swallowed it to save the poor girl from any more awkwardness. In the end, once she'd found out that Ciel was 100% gay and had serious anxiety issues, she'd apologized profusely and Ciel had given her his phone number out of pity. They ended up having nothing in common but taste in music, taste in boots, and a love for science, but Ciel still enjoyed her company most of the time.

Ciel returned from his reverie with a violent jolt when he noticed a rather large hand pressing against his inner left thigh near his groin.

He immediately tensed up, and Sebastian noticed, his sharp eyes roving over Ciel's face. But from his angle, all he would be able to see in the dark car was Ciel's bag in his lap. "You okay, Ciel?" he asked. Sieglinde and Hannah's conversation suddenly tapered off as the car went silent aside from the quiet hum of the tires on the road.

Ciel didn't answer, instead turning to his left and pinning Claude with a glare. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he hissed lowly, resolutely ignoring the uncomfortably tight feeling in his stomach.

Ciel felt Sebastian shift slightly behind him, but the older boy said nothing.

"Oh, I thought we could just have a conversation, Ciel," Claude said, but the lascivious manner in which he licked his lips immediately after he spoke and the fact that his fingers were slowly stroking closer to the apex of Ciel's thighs seemed to imply something far less polite.

Ciel was abruptly reminded of a certain memory, in which the very highest bidders were permitted to touch him – explore his body in the most vulgar ways possible. And all he had been able to do was lie there, shackled and vulnerable. Ciel shuddered from head to toe, and, as a last-ditch effort, looked to Alois to put a leash on his boyfriend – and Ciel used the term _boyfriend_ very loosely. However, Alois was sound asleep and oblivious to the situation. Ciel was highly aware of the fact that he had his knife safely tucked away in his left pocket – nearer to Claude – if worse came to worst, but for some reason, he found himself frozen.

"Back off," Ciel eventually responded under his breath, locking a vicelike grip around Claude's much larger hand and pushing him away. "Alois wouldn't approve, asshole."

Claude smiled thinly and leaned back in his seat without a word, not putting up a fight. Slowly, the various conversations in the car faded back into existence.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian repeated quietly, as Ciel relaxed slightly.

Still shaking off memories, Ciel replied, "Can we just – change the subject?"

"Of course, Ciel," Sebastian replied, smiling pleasantly and reclining in his seat in much the same way as his older cousin was doing.

Ciel sighed deeply and clutched his shoulder bag more tightly, looking up to meet Soma's concerned gaze in the rearview mirror. He then returned his gaze to Sebastian, and – with no small amount of willpower – Ciel reached for Sebastian's left hand, trembling as he did so.

Stroking his thumbs over the dark ink of the pentagram, Ciel spoke very softly. "When did you get this?" he asked eventually.

Sebastian grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't too bad. Again, if you hate waiting, the unedited chapters are available under the same name on ff.net. Please leave kudos if you can tolerate my drivel!


	6. Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel and Sebastian air a bit of dirty laundry (and the plot thickens).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've done a bit of editing. I know it's been a while, because I've been working on my Assassination Classroom works, mostly. So I figured I would catch this work up to where it is on ff.net, at least. Hope it's okay...
> 
> Warnings for mentions of smexy stuff, kissing, voyeurism, and some cursing.

**Part 6: Paradise**

**“The path to paradise begins in hell.”**

* * *

 

Ciel stepped cautiously out of the car, disregarding Sebastian’s proffered hand in favor of tightly clenching the car door as he straightened himself. Smoothing out the lines of his grey skinny jeans with meticulous precision, Ciel finally tilted his head up to take in the two-story, nondescript brick building.

_Lygerastia._

He had discovered it by chance on one of his many self-destructive nights on the town not so long ago. For once, Ciel had forgone asking Alois to accompany him, as this endeavor had been just days after he and Alois had gotten into a very heated argument.

Upon entering the place for the first time approximately eight months ago, Ciel’s initial impression had been _sex._

Hot, gratifying, all-consuming sex.

Besides the near-orgasmic grinding, humping and twerking occurring on the dance floor, there was also a wealth of people in or near the booths that lined the walls, in various stages of nudity. And at the time, Ciel had been just shameless and vulnerable enough to not fight off the two faceless boys who had hounded him from the moment he passed through the front doors.

Yes, Ciel had actually participated in a concupiscent threesome with a pair of strangers at the tender age of fifteen. Ciel certainly didn’t regard it as one of his proudest moments.

But something had made him come back a second time, a third time, a fourth time, and many other times after that. One time, he actually ventured up onto the second floor – where, to his pleasant surprise, he found his orchestra teacher wailing furiously into a microphone before an enthralled – albeit small – crowd of teenagers, electric violin held loosely in hand.

Since then, shortly after _The Incident_ , as he called it in the privacy of his own head, he had not succumbed to the allure of the bottom floor, opting instead to enjoy the different amateur bands that attempted to build a small fan base so that they could later aim for playing bigger venues. Before he knew it, the upper floor of Lygerastia quickly became his favorite place to just relax and pretend that he was someone else for a few hours.

And occasionally, he brought his friends along.

When they reached the front door, Ciel was immediately greeted by Ronald Knox, who acted as a sort of security guard for Lygerastia. Ronald’s eyes – an eerie green-yellow hue that looked strange on anyone else – were warm and inviting, and his friendly disposition and appearance made it hard for people to disagree with him. He grinned broadly once Ciel was just feet away and greeted his younger friend with a huge smile.

“Hi, Ciel!” When Soma and Agni enthusiastically approached Ronald from behind Ciel, he draped his arms casually over their shoulders, laughing boisterously. “You assholes here to listen to Sherlocked?”

“Yeah,” Alois answered curtly before Ciel could say anything. He was pouting juvenilely, evidently irritated at not being acknowledged.

“Uh…” Ronald tilted his head to the left inquisitively, then stage-whispered into Soma’s ear with a distinct lack of subtlety (which was present in almost all of Ronald’s behaviors anyway). “Who’s the Dynamic Duo over there?” he asked, gesturing to Sebastian and Claude, who were standing behind Ciel and exchanging weighted looks.

“The one with the glasses is Claude, Alois’s _boyfriend,_ ” Soma dragged out both syllables of the word and even added a sing-song tone. His voice suddenly lowered conspiratorially as he followed up with an introduction of Sebastian. “And the other one is Sebastian, Ciel’s _not-_ boyfriend.”

“Ah.” Ronald grinned comprehendingly and appraised Sebastian with a marginally more calculating gaze than the first time around. “I understand completely.”

Ciel’s even-tempered expression twitched down into a glower as he valiantly attempted to not feel as though his supposed friends were making a blatant mockery of him. “Would you just let us in, Ronald?”

“Sure thing, Your Majesty,” Ronald countered derisively. He sarcastically saluted Ciel before holding the door open for the mini-troupe with a congenial smile. “Have a lovely night.”

Ciel hastily led his friends around the fringe of the pulsating crowd, heading for the door he knew led to the staircase. He maintained a tight grip on his shoulder bag as they walked and remembered that he had his favorite switchblade within easy reach.

 _It might actually be useful, provided I remember that it’s_ there _this time around._

When Ciel and company emerged from the staircase, Ciel inhaled deeply, absorbing the electric feeling that seemed to crackle up from the very floor. None of tonight’s scheduled bands had gone up yet, so the owners were blasting some old Linkin Park while patrons drank – no alcohol allowed, as the place was teens only, despite the highly questionable activities downstairs – and socialized with comfortable smiles on their faces.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ciel noticed subtle movement, and he turned around, only to discover that the only one of his party still following was Sebastian.

Ciel immediately scowled, caught off-guard and feeling vaguely affronted. “Where did they all go?”

Sebastian chuckled good-naturedly and began ticking everyone off using his fingers. “Well, Claude and Alois peeled off somewhere on the lower floor, to…well, you can probably guess. Sieglinde collided with a somewhat attractive waiter and decided to pursue her. Agni and Soma saw an old acquaintance and went to go chat.” As the taller boy moved closer, he smiled, and the red lighting transformed his irises from burgundy to liquid spinel.

_Fuck._

“It’s just us here now,” Sebastian concluded, his the deep baritone seeming to slide down Ciel’s spinal cord like his favorite syrup, warm, viscous and perfectly saccharine. “Thanks for inviting me.”

Ciel’s lips parted slightly, but no coherent words were forthcoming. So, instead of gaping like a netted fish, he spun around and strode towards the nearest empty table, white-knuckling his shoulder bag as though it were his only lifeline. He pushed himself up onto the high, bar-style stool, and pushed an anxious, shaking hand through his hair.

 _Goddamn it, I really need better friends. Friends who_ wouldn’t _abandon me in this situation._

To Ciel’s surprise, a much larger hand than his own reached for his where it lay on the table, and Ciel flinched back slightly. Sebastian looked mildly wounded in response, and Ciel lowered his hand to the table slowly, a delicate rose staining his pale cheeks.

“Hey,” Sebastian said kindly, voice noticeably lacking that alluring purr-like quality from moments before. “No need to be nervous.” His subsequent smile was almost blindingly supportive. “There’s no expectations here, Ciel.”

He rested his larger, tattooed hand over Ciel’s on the table and gently – _reassuringly?_ – grasped the younger boy’s fingers. Ciel’s blush darkened to a flustered crimson, but he still intrepidly rejected the instantaneous impulse to withdraw. “Right. Um…Want to order something to drink?”

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later, Ciel was smiling slightly as Sebastian told him about a new acquaintanceship he had made in Home Economics with a boy named Baldroy.

“And he completely burned the thing to _ashes._ I swear, the idiot has no tact whatsoever, let alone when it comes to cooking,” Sebastian laughed, before gulping down the last of his water. Ciel tried gamely not to watch his throat work over the cool liquid and failed on the whole.

“Well, lucky for me, I have a spectacular cook like you making my lunches and not some trigger-happy, pyromanic imbecile,” Ciel retorted, crossing his right leg over his left and taking a small sip of his just-shy-of-scalding chai tea. Reflexively, he let out a low, pleased groan. “I love when they actually manage to make it correctly.”

Sebastian smirked suggestively and quirked an eyebrow. “And how, exactly, do you get to order a drink like that in a place like this?”

Ciel smiled, catlike. “I’m a regular, Sebastian. I get special privileges.”

As if on cue, their bubbly, sweet-faced waiter reappeared, smiling almost too brightly. Ciel held back a wince at the boy’s overly chipper disposition. “Would you like any food, Ciel?” he asked cheerfully.

“Thank you, but no thanks, uh…” Ciel paused uncertainly, reading his nametag. “Richard.”

 _Richard’s_ grin broadened to the point that Ciel was concerned that his face might tear open. “Oh, Ciel, you can call me Dick,” he laughed. He then noticed someone waving him over across the room and, with a short goodbye, left to attend to whoever it was.

_I don’t think I’ve ever been waited on by him before. How the hell did he know my name?_

However, Ciel was quickly distracted when he checked the time on his phone and clicked his tongue. “They’re behind schedule. The first act was supposed to have started three minutes ago.”

Sebastian looked curious. “Who’s the first act?”

“Thomas Willis,” Ciel replied immediately. “He’s the scruffy, waxing-poetic tortured artist type, you know? The vast majority of his fans are girls under seventeen.”

“Oh, I see,” Sebastian answered amicably. “So…what type are you, then?”

Ciel hesitated, trying to piece together an answer that wasn’t too revealing. “Well, I’ll agree to the tortured artist part, but I don’t really have any fans that aren’t on the Internet. And I consider myself quite put-together, not _scruffy_.” Ciel scoffed derisively.

Sebastian laughed and ran a hand through his hair, eyes unabashedly sliding down Ciel’s face, neck and torso like a sweet, appreciative caress. “No, definitely _not_ scruffy,” Sebastian concurred softly. Somehow, the appraisal didn’t give him chills; on the contrary, Ciel felt warm and welcomed. A tentative smile spread over his lips again.

He started to open his mouth to continue the conversation, but several girls had just begun cheering. In moments, the room was full of squealing girls as Thomas approached the stage, glinting classic guitar slung over his shoulder.

“Hey, guys,” Thomas spoke into the microphone, his voice low and rough. He raked a hand through his shoulder-length blonde hair with a nervous, pensive pinch to his mouth. “It’s great to see you all tonight.” The crowd let out a good-natured cheer at that, and a smile spread across his face in response. “I’m gonna sing you a cover of one of my favorite songs!” He then settled into a small wooden stool in the middle of the stage and began strumming a very unconventional chord progression.

Ciel’s eyebrows rose as he began singing.

_Breathing you in when I want you out / Finding our truth in a hope of doubt / Lying inside our quiet drama_

Ciel absorbed the unsteady tone to the man’s voice, the quiet pain in the slide of his fingers over the strings, and the restless tapping of his foot on the stool he was perched on. Ciel’s eyes slid easily closed, and he tried to tune out the dissonant cries of dozens of teenage girls in order to focus on the music.

Sebastian’s voice suddenly appeared next to Ciel’s ear. “Want to go somewhere quieter until his act is over?”

Ciel hesitated, but just at that moment, a redheaded imbecile in black stilettos screeched nearby (“I _love_ you, Tommy!”) and promptly spilled Coke all over some unfortunate guy’s lap.

“Yes, let’s,” Ciel rushed out, again ignoring the hand Sebastian offered in favor of simply hopping down from the chair.

_We'll run where lights won't chase us / Hide where love can save us / I will never let you go_

* * *

 

Ciel silently shut the door – most of the way, but not _all_ the way – and turned to Sebastian.

“We’re allowed to be in here?” Sebastian asked as he stroked a hand over the dark wood of the vanity.

Ciel smirked and flopped down on the bed, facing the window.

“Well, technically, this room belongs to me. So, yes; I would say that we’re allowed in here,” Ciel replied with a hint of smugness in his tone.

The room was painted a deep blue, with a dark mahogany for the vanity and the bedframe. The room was mostly barren, as Ciel didn’t often use it, aside from those two pieces of furniture. The part Ciel enjoyed most, however, was the window which had a clear view of the lower floor.

 _The_ sex _floor, for lack of a better name_ , Ciel thought.

The ever-changing colored lights reflected on the walls of his room, creating visual chaos to properly match Ciel’s unsettled thoughts. He cast his gaze out the window towards the lower floor and watched the dozens of people grinding on one another with wild abandon. He waited for the same question that usually followed when Ciel brought any of his friends up to the small room, but it never came.

“I killed my last boyfriend, you know.”

Ciel’s eyes shot up towards Sebastian in shock, caught off-guard and rendered temporarily speechless by the wholly out-of-place statement.

Ciel held a deep-rooted fear of many things, brought about by the abuse he had suffered through at the hands of several different black-hearted men. For example, he generally detested skin-on-skin contact. He refused to let anyone anywhere near his eye. He was scared to death of churches. He couldn’t look at a cage without shuddering.

In summation, the list of “Things and Situations Ciel Fears” would take far too long to put to words. However, one of the few things Ciel was not afraid of was death. Far from it, actually. Ciel wouldn’t say he was suicidal as much as indifferent when it came to how he viewed his existence. So, the prospect of dying was not what alarmed him; instead, it was the possibility of experiencing pain that truly caused his breath to hitch in dread.

“Well,” Sebastian kept up a steady poker face, moving closer to the window. “Not directly, anyways. He committed suicide.”

Needless to say, Ciel’s interest was piqued. He was slightly frightened, but not enough so to run – though his legs were twitching with the need to do just that. He watched through the window as a guy, well over six feet tall, pushed a girl – a consenting and willing one, he hoped – back roughly into a wall before he suddenly shoved a hand down her barely-there shorts. It reminded Ciel unpleasantly of certain memories from not too long ago, and he swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat.

He didn’t say anything in response, instead opting to throw a few Altoids into his mouth as Sebastian continued staring through the glass pane with a subdued look on his face.

“He was a nice guy, you know?” Sebastian began again, voice deep and quiet in the small space. “Sweet, wouldn’t hurt a fly. And I’m a pretty simple man. All I wanted was to give him everything _he_ wanted.” Inexplicably, a brief spark of arousal shot through Ciel’s body at the admission. “The odd thing is that he couldn’t grasp that. He couldn’t handle the intensity and the dynamic of our relationship.”

“And…” Ciel stopped himself to clear his throat, having noticed that his voice broke on the single syllable. “And what sort of dynamic was that?”

“It was very simple, for how everything turned out.” Sebastian kept his face very carefully blank and turned to lock his gaze on Ciel unwaveringly. “He would give me orders, and I would follow them.”

A second slipped away like a fleeting ray of sunshine.

The next second that passed, however, seemed to hold an infinite amount of moments; Ciel felt as though he could feel the firing of each and every individual neuron in his brain.

In the third second, an image passed through Ciel’s mind unbidden, one of Sebastian kneeling at Ciel’s feet, pledging a lifetime of loyalty and devotion. _Would he…_

 _Would he do that for me if I asked?_ Ciel wondered as Sebastian looked at him inquisitively. _Would he cater to all of my needs, and would he_ kill _if I wanted him to?_

_He could be the perfect means to an end._

The uncertainty and ambiguity Ciel had been essentially drowning in since Sebastian had appeared just days ago vanished and everything fell neatly into place. A satisfied smile spread slowly across Ciel’s face as an entire _universe_ of opportunities suddenly came into existence before his very eyes, and he leaned back slightly where he sat.

“And what if I were to be the one giving you orders, Sebastian?” Ciel hedged.

Sebastian’s trademark smirk reappeared on his classically handsome face, and Ciel knew then that he had asked the correct question. “Well, naturally, I would follow them.”

* * *

 

Richard was chatting with a customer at one of his tables when his phone went off, playing the infamous Imperial March theme from Star Wars. Richard’s body went taut, and he smiled benignly at the kind girl he was chatting with, who wore an expectant look. “Sorry, I have to take this, Lisa. Be back in a moment.”

He strode quickly out of the room and into the employee break room, impatiently shooing away one of the waitresses who was using the space to smoke.

Finally alone, Richard roughly pulled his cell out of his back pocket, smile dropping from his face. “Yes, boss?”

“Punctual as ever, Richard,” the man said very drily. Richard flushed, mortified.

“Sorry, I was – “

“Yes, yes, you were chatting up a pretty girl, right? I know how it goes. Anyways, I didn’t call to check up on you. That’s what my cameras are for. I have something you need to do,” he said, voice growing grave.

Richard perked up at the chance to redeem himself. “Of course, anything!”

“I noticed that Ciel has brought a lovely new bodyguard with him tonight…would you please separate them by 9:00 and bring Ciel to me?” He laughed. “Don’t kill the boy or anything; I just can’t have him listening in on our conversation.”

“No problem, Mr. Brown!” he scrawled down a hasty note to himself – _9:00 CP NP to office_ – and smiled. “I won’t fail you.”

The man chuckled. “Oh, newbies.”

The line clicked dead.

* * *

 

The bassline of the heart-rending song seemed to pulse in time with Ciel’s untroubled heart beat as he hummed along with the woeful, angst-ridden strains of Arthur’s voice and tapped mindlessly on his thigh.

_Away from here you’ve flown / with your laugh that sounded of birds,_

_And left me here alone / still waiting for your words._

After the very _revealing_ conversation Ciel had had upstairs with Sebastian, Ciel was content to relax and listen to some of Sherlocked’s music, then return to Teneview before it got too late. So the pair migrated back to the downstairs area, Sebastian following Ciel.

They’d reclaimed their table, which Richard had evidently denoted with a bright canary yellow “ _Reserved!_ _J_ _”_ sign – _fucking creep_ – and settled back in to listen to the last set. Unfortunately, Ciel found that he was unable to truly focus on the music.

Despite his best efforts, Ciel could not tear his eye away from Sebastian’s , and as each moment ticked by, Ciel felt more and more inclined to see what would happen if he just –

_leaned in and -_

Sebastian was smirking, and at this point, his long, capable fingers were laced tightly with Ciel’s thin, delicate ones.

As Ciel watched, Sebastian’s lips parted slowly, and a long sigh escaped, followed by Sebastian – quite lasciviously – licking his lips. It was clear that he was planning to say something that could either result in Ciel bolting from the room or a spontaneous makeout session.

But this time, Ciel wasn’t backing down. Emboldened by the high he was still feeling from the revelation that had come to pass in that dark room, Ciel tried his best to smile back encouragingly.

“Can I kiss you?” Sebastian asked, looking as if he very well knew the answer already – _Which he probably does._

“Yes.”

The taller boy leaned forward, causing his shadow to fall over Ciel’s smaller frame. Tilting his chin slightly, Sebastian pressed his wide, well-shaped lips against Ciel’s. Ciel responded immediately, pushing back as his eyes fell shut. The mild kiss intensified when Sebastian’s nose pressed against Ciel’s cheek as he aimed for a better angle. A strangled moan was wrenched from the younger boy’s throat as Sebastian sucked on Ciel’s pouty bottom lip; the loose grip Ciel had on Sebastian’s fingers tightened violently as his whole body tensed slightly – _not in a bad way,_ Ciel realised abruptly. Sebastian swiped his tongue over Ciel’s bottom lip – _just_ once _, the fucking tease_ – before pulling back just a few centimeters and assessing Ciel’s pinked cheeks with undisguised satisfaction.

Still dazed and slightly aroused by the kiss despite himself, Ciel tilted his head to the left and leaned in again, only to be stopped by a certain high-pitched giggle, which was followed by a mildly mortified chuckle. Ciel’s head whipped to the right, where Soma was standing, golden eyes sparkling with mirth as he leaned on his boyfriend. He held a hand up to his face and turned to Agni, practically oozing flustered adoration. “Aren’t they just the _cutest_? My little bro is so adorable!”

Ciel immediately recoiled in disgust at his friend’s sentiment, leaning back in his chair and shutting his eyes. With the practiced air of someone who had done it a thousand times, he snatched his bag back up and slid out of the high chair to the floor with the scowl still holding fast on his pale face.

“Does anyone know where Alois and Claude are?” Ciel inquired, choosing to blatantly ignore Soma’s childish admiration.

When all he received were blank stares, Ciel sighed and called Alois.

The phone rang five times, and Ciel began to actually consider the idea that maybe his dim blonde friend had gone and gotten himself lost or kidnapped, but Alois finally answered.

“H-hello?” Alois rasped, voice hoarse.

“Alois, we’re leaving in ten minutes.”

“I – _nngh! –_ won’t be… I can’t – _fuck!”_ Alois tried and failed spectacularly to answer Ciel in intelligible English, but Ciel quickly pieced together a very general mental picture of what was happening on the other end of the line. Before he could scathingly remark on Alois’s promiscuity, though, Claude picked up the phone.

“Hello, Ciel. I’m currently right in the middle of giving Alois’s tight little ass a good rimming, so you’ll just have to wait a bit longer,” the older boy said without remorse.

Ciel’s jaw dropped in his indignant fury.

_The sheer nerve - !_

“You – “ he seethed crossly. But, unable to produce any more coherent words, he simply hung up and irately shoved his phone into his shoulder bag. “We’re leaving. _Now._ ”

“But what about – “ Soma tried to ask.

Ciel’s withering glare snapped towards Soma, and Soma promptly cut himself off. When Ciel’s phone vibrated in his unforgiving grasp, he unlocked it.

 _me + Hannah waiting outside, cu_ , the text read from Sieglinde. Ciel exhaled quietly and closed his eyes. _Definitely leaving now._

“Come on, the others are waiting for us,” Ciel commanded, although he attempted a slightly less scornful tone. His companions dutifully followed as he moved towards the stairs.

Applause filled the room when Sherlocked played the last note of the song, and Ciel suddenly found the doorway to the staircase being barred by the unfamiliar new waiter, _Dick._

“Hello again, Dick. Sorry, but my friends and I are trying to get home, so could you…” Ciel made a valiant attempt to be polite to the unfortunate waiter.

“Mr. Brown needs to see you!” Dick blurted tactlessly. His manicured hands fluttered uncomfortably about his waist, clearly displaying his inexperience.

Ciel’s eyes widened as he stopped in his tracks. “Now?” Dick nodded vigorously, like a Miniature Schnauzer, eager to please. “Alright, you guys all head out to the car. I’ll be there in a few minutes – ten maximum.”

Soma’s brows furrowed, likely because he had been around Ciel the longest and had the most comprehensive understanding of what ‘a meeting with Mr. Brown’ meant. Nonetheless, he led the other two around Dick, who smiled gratefully.

Ciel scowled at him with the fire of one thousand suns, but he gestured in the direction of Mr. Brown’s office. “Lead the way, Dick,” Ciel said, resigning himself to the inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated! I'll try to upload chapter 7 next week. :*


	7. Limit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel gets back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moar editing!!! Trying to get into a habit of once a week until this is caught up to where I am on ff.net (Ch.11). Not sure how much more I can do after that, though.
> 
> Warnings for cursing, mentions of smexy stuff but no actual smexy stuff, and a bit of canon-level violence, I suppose.

**Part 7: Limit**

**"To define is to limit."**

* * *

 

When Ciel and Richard entered the office, Mr. Brown had his head tucked behind a computer as he typed furiously. "Ah," he sighed joyfully. "Thanks ever so, Richard. Would you please close up shop for me?"

Richard nodded his head almost violently and left the room running, the door slamming shut behind him as he left in a rush.

Mr. Brown chuckled at Richard's apparent anxiety. "They always get  _so_  nervous when they find out who I work for."

Ciel crossed his arms, impatient. "Let's make this quick, John; I have friends waiting for me outside."

At the curt address, John Brown stood briskly, his long white coat rustling as he did so. "Of course, Ciel. I'm sure the Queen doesn't mind catering to your needs."

Ciel grimaced. _Fair enough._ It was a bit rude of him to storm in here, interrupting John's work, and immediately demand haste. "I apologise; it's been a long night. Just…give me whatever it is, John."

John stepped around the desk, white boots tapping loudly against the linoleum. "It's a few things, actually." He reached into his similarly coat for an envelope, which he handed to Ciel. "There's very little information on the case at the moment, but when more comes to light, I will have it sent to you immediately." Ciel nodded and tucked the envelope into his shoulder bag. "Secondly, the Queen has been wondering about how that bust is going. Have you found the root of the problem yet?"

Ciel scoffed. "By tomorrow, there won't be any problem to find," he replied haughtily.

John's lips twitched in a sort of smile, his dark glasses glinting as he did so. "Lovely. On the Queen's behalf, I thank you, Ciel."

Ciel smiled somewhat caustically before turning and leaving the room, shaking his head all the while.

 _Fantastic,_ he thought.  _Can't get a break, can I?_

Since Ciel had been located and brought back home at the tender age of thirteen, raped, beaten, starved and scarred, Victoria Queen had kept vigilant watch over him. Even before he was kidnapped, Victoria had supported his family. Vincent had been well on the way to becoming superintendent of the school district under her instruction and guidance.

Currently, Victoria Queen was the governor of Washington State.

Back then, of course, she had been just the lowly mayor of Teneview, a small town at the foot of a mountain in northwest Washington that no one had ever heard about. Somehow, through her hard work and campaigning, Victoria Queen had obtained the position of governor.

Ciel was one of her employees, for all intents and purposes. When any issues came to light that Victoria preferred not to get her hands dirty with, she typically delegated the jobs to Ciel, just as she had done with his father and his mother before him.

 _This_ was why Ciel refused to let his schoolmates' petty prejudices and discrimination unhinge him.  _This_ was why Ciel wouldn't allow himself to spiral into despair when he recalled the abuse that had befallen him after his kidnapping. No matter what they thought of him, no matter how much they had mistreated him, he was guaranteed to be victorious in the end, because he had Victoria  _fucking_ Queen on his side.

And if he could also coerce a six-three, fit and intelligent man into serving as his foot soldier during these assignments, well, it could only be of benefit.

 _When in doubt, delegate,_ as the Queen herself had told Ciel not too long ago.

When Ciel finally emerged from the building along with the bulk of the crowd, he scanned the area, trying to remember where the group's van had been parked. For a brief moment, he stood on tiptoe to gain a better perspective, and as a result, nearly tripped and cracked his head on the pavement when a hand grabbed his forearm without warning.

"Hey, bae," Alois said, reeling Ciel in closer.

Ciel's eyebrows drew together in confusion as the number of people flooding out of the exit trickled down to nothing. "Alois? Weren't you…um, in the middle of something?"

Alois rolled his eyes. "I had no ride home besides you, idiot. Once Claude got me off, we got dressed and came outside with everyone else."

Ciel abruptly noticed Claude looming a few yards away, seemingly disgruntled ( _probably because I cockblocked him)_  and making little effort to conceal it.

"Whatever," Ciel finally said. As if on cue, the van pulled up to the curb and Soma rolled down the passenger window, smiling and waving. "Let's get the hell out of here. I'm exhausted."

The three of them piled into the car, but this time, Alois decided to sit in Claude's lap, where he promptly fell asleep again. Fortunately, this meant that Ciel and Sebastian had the whole backseat to themselves. Despite all the extraneous space, Ciel still chose to sit fairly close to Sebastian, who, once granted permission, grasped Ciel's right hand in both of his, holding them all together in his lap with a beatific smile.

Ciel found that he was quite comfortable, so even though he knew he had a lot to discuss with Sebastian, he leaned his head on the taller boy's shoulder and allowed the gentle humming of the car to lull him into the sweet cradle of sleep.

* * *

When he awoke, it was to Sebastian pressing a tender kiss against his cheek. Ciel fought down a mildly exasperated smile at the sheer sweetness of it, blinking his eye open blearily. Then Ciel's eye popped wide open in astonishment when he realised he had just slept for several hours and couldn't recall having any nightmares.

"We're at your house," Sebastian explained, leaning back and ducking his head out of the car. It was then Ciel saw that the older boy was already outside and waiting. He glanced around, noticing a bright red 2015 Stingray in the driveway right next to his aunt's minivan ( _purchased in 2009 and never discarded, teeming with the melancholy and disillusionment brought about by her non-existent family_ ). He sighed, knowing exactly what the presence of the obnoxious car meant.

"See you Monday, Ciel!" Soma grinned and wiggled his fingers from the front passenger seat.

Ciel rolled his eyes and again ignored Sebastian's hand as he climbed carefully out of the car, rifling through his bag for the house keys. "Walk me to the door," he requested – although it was really more of a command – when he found them.

As they moved down the walkway, Ciel searched for the right words. _Fuck it,_ he thought after a few moments. "Sebastian, are you interested in a relationship with me?" Ciel asked bluntly, deciding against beating around the bush.

Sebastian chuckled. "I thought I made that pretty clear."

Ciel nodded slowly. "In that case, I have to tell you something. You can't be involved with me without being involved with my job." Sebastian's face remained carefully neutral. "It's somewhat of a dangerous line of work, and not something you can tell people about." They reached the front door, and Ciel stopped, looking up at Sebastian sternly. "My job determines my life, and I won't have anyone ruining it for me."

At that point, Sebastian looked fairly dubious. "How serious can it be?"

"Well," here Ciel hesitated. "If you really want to know, and you won't betray my trust, then come by tomorrow at one, and you can hear all about it."

The doubtful expression was swept away, and Sebastian smiled positively radiantly. "Of course. I would never betray you, Ciel."

Ciel sighed and rolled his eyes. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

The grin broadened, if such an event was possible. "I never lie."

Pursing his lips in slight irritation, Ciel turned for the door. "Good night, Sebastian."

Sebastian stopped him by grabbing his waist and pulling him back into a chaste kiss. He then retreated for a moment, looking into Ciel's eye inquisitively, but Ciel leaned back in, pursuing that warm contentedness that he had been missing for so many years without knowing it.

_Safe._

Ciel wound his arms around Sebastian's neck, back curved at a slightly uncomfortable angle, so Sebastian walked him up against the front door, tightening his grip on Ciel as he did so. Sebastian then licked at Ciel's mouth, pleading for entrance. Ciel quickly acquiesced, parting his lips on a shuddering exhale, and when Sebastian's large hands slipped lower and grasped handfuls of Ciel's ass, Ciel was utterly unable to find that disgust that was normally so close-by –

Abruptly, there was no door for Ciel to lean on, and it was a stroke of good fortune that Sebastian's reflexes were quick enough to save Ciel from falling over the threshold.

" _Ciel?!_ " a shrill voice exclaimed from somewhere behind him.

Ciel sighed jadedly and surreptitiously hiked up his jeans, fighting down the slight blush left over from all of the previous stimulation. When he fully turned to face his aunt, however, any remaining arousal drained away like dishwater from a kitchen sink.

Madame Red was dressed –  _if you could really call it that_ – in some sort of skimpy red getup that exposed far more of her breasts and upper thighs than Ciel had ever wanted to see in this lifetime ( _or the next_ ). But  _that_ wasn't the worst part. The worst part was actually Grell, draped over the sofa –  _I fucking_ use  _that sofa, dammit_  – a few meters behind her, shirtless and seemingly well-and-truly fucked out. Ciel couldn't help but feel embarrassed and awkward just  _looking_ at them.

He barely managed to restrain a horrified wince at the sight.

Ciel peered over his shoulder and mouthed at Sebastian: " _One o' clock._ "

Sebastian smiled and left without a word, and Ciel turned back around, pushing past his aunt. "I'm going to bed; see you after church, Madame Red."

Though his back was to her, he could practically hear the grimace. "Ciel Phantomhive," she reprimanded tightly. "You know by now not to call me that."

"Good night, Auntie," he replied, feeling generous.

* * *

Once he reached his room, Ciel flopped down on the bed, spirits higher than they'd ever been in years. However, he had assured the Queen (through her mouthpiece, John Brown) just hours ago that he would take care of that  _rat_ issue, and Ciel Phantomhive would always strive to be Victoria Queen's perfect guard dog.

_She tells me to jump, and I ask, 'How high?'_

Suddenly, a memory violently assaulted Ciel, one of him perched comfortably in his uncle's lap while people moved around him.

" _Uncle?_ " Ciel had asked, when his father had suddenly stood up and exited the room, seeming anxious about something. " _Uncle, what's happening?_ "

" _Nothing important, Ciel, baby_ ," he'd replied, as his long, thin fingers twisted Ciel's hair into thin braids. That year, his mother had let him grow his hair out to his shoulders. His uncle's fingernails scratched pleasantly against Ciel's scalp, and Ciel had leaned back into the touch, closing his eyes, shutting out the sound of Tanaka speaking frantically into a phone in the next room over. " _Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head over._ "

Ciel had not been so easily placated, but he remained grudgingly silent, knowing The Golden Rule even at the age of eight:  _Anything you say can and will be used against you._

Then, his father had come dashing back into the room, smiling tiredly, as the chaos seemed to skid to a halt. He came to his son, knelt at Ciel's feet, and Ciel knew  _all about_ the next part.

" _Ciel, I'm going to go away for a few days, okay?"_  Ciel's dad had whispered. Ciel looked away, pouting. He hadn't needed to voice his opinion aloud; his father was well-versed in the language of Ciel's facial expressions. " _Take care of your mommy for me, please?_ "

Ciel had rolled his eyes exasperatedly while his uncle's torso trembled in laughter behind him. " _Christ, Vincent. He isn't a toddler anymore,_ " his uncle had joked.

Vincent's eyes had snapped up to Ciel's uncle's face, spitting fire with just his gaze, but still with that smile holding fast. However, the slight bit of anger almost immediately faded away into a sort of dejection. " _I…you're right. I know. You know…I'm just doing what I have to,_ " he'd muttered.

And back then, Ciel had wondered.  _God,_  he'd analysed his whole life, wondering: What could be so  _goddamn_ important that Vincent had abandoned his family for a few days every month for as long as Ciel could remember, disappeared into the basement of the house with suspicious-looking characters, and been unable to smile in that carefree way that Ciel saw in all the pictures from his high school years?

Now, Ciel found himself in much the same position that his father had been in –  _except at less than half of his age and with only a tiny fraction of the knowledge necessary_  – helping Victoria Queen build her empire.

_The grand plan._

Ciel rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand and sat up, sighing as pain bloomed in the back of his neck.  _Goddamn trigger point. Set off by nothing._ He then reached for his phone to shoot a quick text off to Tanaka.

_Come to my bedroom. Now._

Ciel imagined Victoria in a lovely suit, something striking, maybe violet, lounging in her large, velvety chair, staring out over all the land that she presided over and still  _wanting_ for  _more._ She clearly belonged to a different era, one more needing of a ruler, one less independent, one less  _ridden with filth_ , as she had so eloquently phrased it in one of her first emails to Ciel. She would bathe in her riches and fame for decades to come, while Vincent Phantomhive burned in the depths of hell for the transgressions he had committed according to her orders.

Before Ciel could reach any further into his mind, a quiet knock sounded on his bedroom door. "Come in," Ciel replied to the knock, voice trembling ever-so-slightly.

The door swung outwards to reveal Tanaka, who strode into the room bearing a mug of tea - ginger, by the scent - and a placating smile. "Is everything alright, Ciel?" he asked kindly as he placed the tea on Ciel's bedside dresser.

"Ye…yes, I'm fine. Thank you for asking," Ciel muttered, dragging his hand over his face. "I just…just need some advice on this whole  _rat_ business. I'm pretty sure I know who's responsible, but I don't know how to finalise it."

Tanaka's brow furrowed. "Well, you've already invited them over for brunch tomorrow. I really do think that you've made the right move. The situation will work itself out."

Ciel grabbed the cup then, savoring the scald of the hot glass on his skin. "I hope you're right about that." The burn of the aromatic liquid was welcome as it sluiced down his throat. "Oh, a few other things," Ciel suddenly said, holding up a finger.

"First, I have an additional guest who will be participating in the meeting afterwards. I've already sent you a photo of him, as well as a copy of his driver's license, so don't be concerned when you see him in the meeting room tomorrow afternoon. But do look into him for me, and make sure that he isn't a spy." Tanaka looked mildly confused, but he said nothing, taking it all in stride. "Secondly, those pens that we received a little while ago from Chlaus? The time is now to destroy them. Have them sent out ASAP." Tanaka nodded obediently as Ciel sipped from his tea again, then smiled pleasantly before leaving. The man generated almost no sound as he departed, shutting the door as quietly as humanly possible.

Ciel fell back against the memory foam and pulled loose the knot that held his eyepatch. "It'll be a long fucking day, tomorrow, Ciel. Brace yourself," he said to the room.

The clock directly over the double doors to Ciel's room informed him that it was 1:34 AM, and bile ferociously clawed its way up his throat.  _Sunday morning._

_Eight days._

He vomited onto the floor, and it was mostly liquid. Preoccupied as he'd been with Sebastian, he hadn't eaten much. Still, it felt as though his lungs had been shoved up his esophagus and out through his mouth.

He then proceeded to pass out, fully dressed, yellowish substance trickling down his cheek.

* * *

The next morning found Ciel clean and collected, playing a game of pool with a small group of his contacts.

"How long are you planning on letting this go on for, Phantomhive? This should really have been taken care of a long time ago," berated Thomas Wright. He was a very large man, stuffing one of Tanaka's painstakingly baked croissants into his mouth even as he spoke. "Those disgusting rats need to be outed." Crumbs fell from his dark moustache and onto the carpet.

"They will be," Lau consoled the man, grinning in that enigmatic, disarming manner of his. Lau was comfortably reclining on a red velvet loveseat with Ran Mao spread, barely clothed, over his lap. He unabashedly slid his hand up her practically-nonexistent skirt, and her facial expression didn't change in the slightest. "He's just waiting for the perfect moment to strike."

Madame Red spoke up from where she sat in a high-backed chair, still clad in her Sunday best from when she'd gone to church earlier that morning. "Yes, he just wants to do it all in one go." She paused unsurely when Ciel smoothed out his black button-down and leaned back in his seat, cue stick laid across his lap. "A-are you passing again, Mr. Phantomhive?"

"Yes, I will pass. I don't shoot when I know I'll miss," Ciel said in reply, his good eye sliding over each person in the room calculatedly.

Randall scoffed as he walked by, grabbing a pastry from the tray of food laid out earlier that morning. "Yes, okay, but when are you going to take care of the problem?" he snapped.

Ciel examined Arthur Randall. He had probably dressed casually in an attempt to be more inconspicuous while traveling here from his home in the main part of the city, but he just looked horribly uncomfortable in the t-shirt and jeans. The Wolverine-like sideburns sort of clashed with the whole outfit as well.

"Oh, anytime now, Randall." Ciel leaned towards the table slightly to watch Vanel take his shot. "The rat will expose itself soon enough, searching for the metaphorical cheese that I have under lock and  _key_."

 _Ah,_ Azzurro Vanel.  _The dirty Mafia rat_. Ciel was almost completely certain that he was the one stealing in their little circle. If there were any time for Vanel to make his move, it would be today.

And so, he would utilize the situation to test Sebastian's loyalty.

If Sebastian betrayed him or ran, he would be ruined ( _to put it kindly_ ). If Sebastian failed to save him, then Ciel would use his emergency clicker to send the police running to his location –  _and probably still punish Sebastian_. If Sebastian  _passed_ the test, well, Ciel would see how things went from there.

Just then, Ciel's phone vibrated - three short buzzes, which meant an email - in his pocket. He discreetly pulled it out, thumbing in his passcode and opening up his inbox. It appeared that Sebastian Michaelis had passed the underground network's rigorous background check with flying colors, which was almost unheard of. A few phrases stood out to him - _mixed martial arts, adoption, psychological evaluation_ \- and he made a mental note to read the document in detail later.

Vanel scowled and took his shot. The cue ball smacked against the one remaining colored ball before rolling into a side pocket. He clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth and scowled.

Ciel smirked, pleased, and leaned forward marginally in the armchair, cue stick now stood on the floor between his legs. "Anyways, going through this will be no easy feat for me. I expect adequate payment in return," he said casually, glancing over his impeccable nails.

Randall seemed scandalized when Ciel's eyes turned to him. "Are all you Phantomhives nothing but mercenaries?" Randall snapped.

Ciel's eyes narrowed in reprisal. "Be careful with how you regard my family name, Mr. Randall. The rest of the Phantomhives may be dead, but I alone am fully capable of putting you in your place."

Vanel chuckled, the scar marring the center of his face twisting disturbingly as he smiled. "You're in deep shit now, Randall," he said smugly. He then turned back to Ciel, still smiling bone-chillingly. "What now, Phantomhive?"

Ciel stood suddenly. "I think it's time to end the game," he concluded with an air of finality. He moved around the room to pick up the cue ball, pausing only momentarily to fix a sterner gaze on Randall, who stiffened.

"I'll have the payment by tonight," Randall muttered resignedly. Ciel knew well that the straight-laced sheriff detested all of the secrecy and Ciel's frankly questionable methods, but he always went along with it all nonetheless just because of his complete devotion and deference to Victoria Queen.

"Fantastic; I'll send a cab for you at nine," Ciel replied shortly. Then, he stalked around the table to where the cue ball was, utilizing his ball-in-hand to set up the perfect shot.

Wright suddenly spoke up, incredulous at Ciel's audacity. "You passed twice, and now you think that you can pocket them all in one go?"

Randall sneered from his shadowy corner and added his two cents. "Be careful with your greed, Phantomhive," he said, none-too-subtly throwing Ciel's own words back in his face. "It may be the death of you."

Ciel said nothing, only smirking and lining up the shot. With a sharp  _snap_ , the cue ball sent first the crimson ball and next the pitch black one sinking into their respective corner pockets.

"Game over," Ciel announced, laying his cue stick on the table. He then strode out of the room before anyone could conjure an answer. Tanaka dutifully stood just left of the door, waiting for direction. "Walk them out, and at 8:30 PM, order a taxi for Mr. Arthur Randall to be brought here."

Tanaka nodded, seemingly pleased, and Ciel released a tiny smile before heading for the stairs back up to the main floor.

* * *

Ciel closed his eye and slumped down in his large chair. He could feel the watery sunlight bathing him in meager warmth from all directions, and he tried to relax a little bit.

But sitting there, in that room, where his violin lessons had taken place every Tuesday before the fire, all he could think about was his dead father.

 _"_ _Daddy, I'm scared. What if I do badly?" Ciel whispered into his father's chest. It was supposed to be his first day with a teacher named Mrs. Mitchell, and Ciel was terrified. He thought he might mess up and upset his parents._

 _"_ _Ciel, what are you so concerned about?" Ciel's dad chuckled deeply and ruffled his five-year-old son's hair affectionately. "She's a teacher; she's supposed to help you be better. So it doesn't matter how you are the first time around, as long as you improve."_

_Ciel knew that what his father was saying made sense, but he still couldn't bring himself to stop shaking. "I just…can't calm down, Daddy."_

_His father pulled back to look Ciel in the face. "Okay, I have an idea."_

_His father yelled for Tanaka. When the elderly man appeared, his dad said, "Bring the Ashwagandha with sugar, honey and milk."_

_Ciel was confused. "What's Ashwagandha?"_

_"_ _It's this lovely root that people mash up. Then, it gets put in hot water, and it makes a sort of tea," Ciel's dad explained patiently. "It tastes very good, and it's great for calming the nerves."_

_Ciel was slightly grossed-out at the thought of drinking mashed-up plant roots mixed with water, but he trusted his father not to give him something that would make him sick._

_Needless to say, he absolutely_ loved  _it and had Tanaka bring it with his breakfast every single morning after that day._

Ciel forcibly swallowed the bile that shot up his throat once he broke free of the reverie, searching in one of his pockets for his cinnamon Altoids. A few moments later, Tanaka knocked on the doorframe ( _I don't recall leaving that open_ ) and entered the room. "Do you need anything before your…friend arrives?" he asked considerately.

_I have no idea how I'd manage myself if I didn't have Tanaka around to take care of me._

"Yes, in fact. Can you bring me my usual tea?" Ciel answered gratefully. Tanaka nodded quickly and left the room at a brisk pace. Before Ciel could descend into another memory-induced trance, however, his phone vibrated quickly in his pocket. The flashing green LED indicated that it was a text message when he extracted it.

_At the door, may I please come in?_

It was a short, direct question from Sebastian, who was apparently already at his front door half an hour earlier than Ciel had requested.  _That_ alone impressed Ciel, but there was something about the  _diction_ that caused a pleasant little shiver to streak down Ciel's spine.

_Yes. Take a right behind the staircase, door at the end of the hallway._

About a minute later, the door to Ciel's secondary meeting room was opening, revealing Sebastian, clad in a burgundy V-neck, worn black bootcuts and a fairly old pair of Chucks.

Having had two fleeting tastes of him the previous night, Ciel was suddenly overwhelmed with the startling urge to  _devour_ him.

Sebastian stepped into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him and moving towards Ciel somewhat unsurely. Ciel stood and gestured for Sebastian to take his spot. Sebastian complied without a word, and Ciel gathered the vestiges of his scattered composure for the next part.

 _Time to test my_ own  _nerve._

He sat down on the cushion, there being just enough room for his slim body in between Sebastian's thighs –  _which are quite spectacularly encased in these slim-fitting jeans of his_. Ciel then pointedly folded his hands in his lap.

Sebastian still said nothing, evidently waiting for Ciel to tell him what he wanted. "I'm tense," the latter murmured after a few more beats of silence. "Will you give me a massage, Sebastian?"

Sebastian snatched up the invitation as soon as it was provided, evidently willing and eager. He leaned in to Ciel's right ear, breathing warm air into it. "I'll do anything you want me to do, Ciel." He punctuated the statement with an agonizingly slow suck at the juncture where Ciel's jaw bone met the rest of his skull, just behind and below his earlobe, which  _fucking God_ Ciel was fairly sure had not been an erogenous zone before meeting Sebastian, but he supposed anything was possible with that  _mouth_  –

The wet warmth disappeared without warning, leaving Ciel feeling slightly bereft. That was swiftly remedied when two large palms settled onto Ciel's thin shoulders over the silk of his dress shirt, thumbs rubbing into his upper back in soothing circles. Sebastian's fingertips squeezed his neck lightly before he slowly shifted downwards, kneading Ciel's taut flesh into melted butter, and Ciel quickly lost track of passing time, permitting his head to droop forward slightly. When the knot at the base of Ciel's neck was released in a sudden inundation of relief, Ciel groaned in pure satisfaction, grabbing tightly onto Sebastian's quadriceps in order to properly anchor himself. His voice cracked embarrassingly at the end, but Ciel was too blissed-out to really give a shit.

Sebastian laughed quietly and allowed his hands to slip down to Ciel's waist when Ciel slumped bonelessly against Sebastian's chest.

"That," Ciel whispered, feeling vaguely like he needed his inhaler. "was  _almost_  orgasmic."

Sebastian leaned back in to Ciel's right ear –  _the teasing bastard_ – and sucked at the back of Ciel's lapis lazuli stud, pulling the thin bar of metal between his lips and tugging sharply before retreating slightly. Ciel pressed his lips together stubbornly, not wanting another humiliating sound to escape. "Almost?" Sebastian asked, sounding nebulously affronted.

"Yeah," Ciel breathed serenely. He laughed at himself a bit before continuing absently. "I mean, I didn't  _actually_ …you know…orgasm."

Sebastian's arms tightened around his waist, one fine-boned, black-tipped hand sliding towards the waistband of Ciel's dark blue jeans. "I could fix that problem, if you wanted," Sebastian countered, his voice far too low to be real.

_I should be feeling extremely anxious right about now._

_Why am I not anxious?_

On the verge of giving Sebastian the go-ahead, Ciel jumped about ten feet in the air when he heard Madame Red's voice just down the hall, saying, "Well, it's been a good half hour, Tanaka. Can we head in now?"

Ciel flushed darkly and grabbed the wrist of Sebastian's wandering left hand. "I actually – " He was forced to pause and clear his throat when he noticed how scratchy and  _aroused_ it was. "Actually, I brought you here to take part in a meeting."

Sebastian sighed, shifting slightly in Ciel's grip so that he could kiss the back of Ciel's hand lightly. Predictably, Ciel's heart stuttered and restarted double-time at the gesture, and he was quiet for a few more moments while he tried to get into a more proper frame of mind.

"I just wanted to tell you  _not_ to be alarmed at who walks in here in the next few seconds, okay?" Ciel said carefully, twisting his torso around awkwardly to fully face Sebastian. "If all goes well today, I'll explain to you why they were here."

Sebastian's eyebrows furrowed in perplexity, but he nodded affirmatively nonetheless.

Unable to resist, Ciel leaned in and pressed a light kiss to Sebastian's lips and turned around before Sebastian could reciprocate –  _which was a grave mistake because Ciel would probably spend the next two hours imagining that they had had enough time for Sebastian to kiss him back_ – just before the door opened to reveal Tanaka, Madame Red, Grell, Lau and Ran-Mao.

Ciel's eyes immediately fell to the small tray in Tanaka's hands, which held a steaming pot of Ashwagandha, four mugs and three little cups of sugar, honey and milk, respectively. Ciel smiled, detangled himself from Sebastian and stood all in one move. "Ah," he sighed contentedly, taking the tray from Tanaka. "Thank you."

With a deliberate, knowing nod that had Ciel blushing lightly again, Tanaka turned on his heel and left the room again. Ciel turned his attention to the other four guests in the doorway of the room. He attempted a welcoming grin, gesturing to the empty seats around the table where Ciel had just set the tea. "Come on in, everyone. And ignore Sebastian. He's just sitting in."

While the others got settled, Ciel leaned down and spoke under his breath to Sebastian. "Here's an opportunity to learn something about me. I take this tea with one teaspoon each of honey and sugar, plus two teaspoons of milk." Sebastian's eyes lit up –  _very attractively, I might add_  – and he stood, moving to the table to do as Ciel bade quickly and efficiently. As Sebastian knelt on the floor, preparing Ciel's drink, Lau chuckled.

"Tea can be excellent when made well, right, Ran-Mao?" he said, stroking his sister's generous hip fondly. Ran-Mao remained as silent as she always was during these meetings, but her blank gaze moved towards Sebastian's hunched-over form on the floor.

Grell was sitting on the loveseat next to Madame Red, apparently enamored by Sebastian's hands moving swiftly over the tea set. "Learn something from him, Grell. He's clearly a far more attentive boyfriend than you'll ever be," she bemoaned. Grell blushed red in mortification as his girlfriend clearly approved of the taller, more capable teenage boy.

"So, you think that the drug trafficker was here at the meeting this morning?" Lau asked, changing the subject. He moved to lean on the back of Ciel's chair as he did so.

Ciel leaned on the arm of his chair, chin in hand. "Maybe," he rejoined noncommittally. Sebastian stood and turned back to him when the tea was finished, handing him his sixteen-ounce mug with a dazzling smile. "Thank you," Ciel said, warmth filling his stomach when he took the first sip. Sebastian positioned himself across the room, apparently sensing that he should stay out of the conversation.

"Regardless of  _who_ I think the rat is, it will be taken care of immediately, I assure you," Ciel said once everyone else had gotten their own mugs to drink from.

Madame Red's face took on an uncomfortable quality. "Wouldn't we all be better off if you just let Lau do the job for you? After all, he is a cheater and a liar himself," she pronounced superciliously.

Ciel rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to answer, but Lau chuckled somewhat predatorily and smoothed a hand over Ciel's head.  _That_ surprised him enough that the words died on his tongue. "Don't worry, Madame. I am deeply indebted to Ciel." He paused to lean in a bit closer. "If he instructs me not to act, then I am bound to do nothing."

Madame Red was up on her feet in record time. " _Hey!_ You filthy Chinese scum, get your hands off of my nephew!" she shouted, grabbing Ciel up out of his chair –  _oh, there goes my tea_. Ciel lamented the loss of his Ashwagandha as he was awkwardly pressed against Angelina's considerable bosom.

Lau brought his hands up in a calming motion, but his smile was no less mischievous. "Don't worry, I'd never  _dare_ to touch Ciel in his own home."

Angelina abruptly dropped Ciel onto the floor, and Ciel could almost hear the sound of crimson claws extending in anticipation of battle. "Are you saying that you'd do it somewhere  _else_?" she hissed, supremely pissed off.

Ciel moved to leave the room, feeling a headache coming on because of all of the commotion. "Ciel?" Sebastian hedged from where he was near the window. Ciel pressed a hand to his temple and motioned for Sebastian to follow him.

"Oh, I'm  _very_ sorry, Master. Have I upset you?" Lau teased.

"Clearly, you don't understand how protective I am of Ciel, you jerk! I would – " her voice was cut off when Sebastian shut the door behind him.

Down the hall, Ciel heard an out-of-place thumping sound. "Oh," Ciel said, surprised. "The rats are here already."

"Ciel, what – " Sebastian started to ask, but Ciel waved him off.

"Don't talk until I say you can, got it?" Ciel commanded. Sebastian nodded, eyes wide as he followed Ciel down the hall. "I'm in the middle of an important job, okay? Lau is an important friend of mine; he keeps me informed on the carryings-on of the underground world, and I don't tattle on him for his…recreational activities."

Sebastian seemed to absorb the information, and Ciel continued. "My aunt Angelina in there abhors my job, and when I'm appointed for dangerous assignments like this one, she always tries to convince me to – " Ciel was forced to cut himself off when his stomach growled obnoxiously in the middle of the sentence. He stopped his brisk walk, turned to Sebastian, and said, "There's an apple-raisin pie in the fridge in the kitchen. Please bring it to my office."

Sebastian looked very hesitant, so Ciel clarified. "The kitchen is just ahead on our right, and my office is the first door to the right of the entrance. Thanks."

Sebastian leaned down cautiously, clearly waiting to see if Ciel would accept his proposition.

 _Of course I will, stupid._ Ciel rolled his eyes and reached for Sebastian's neck, tugging him down into a kiss. Inwardly, Ciel was sort of shocked at his own boldness. Just a week ago, he would have run for the hills had anyone indicated that they wanted to initiate a relationship with him.

 _But_ , he supposed,  _everyone has their designated other half._

It was quick, just a peck, before Ciel pulled away, smiling slightly.  _I couldn't do this with anyone else._

"See you in a bit," Ciel said, knowing full well that he wouldn't. After Sebastian left for the kitchen, Ciel headed for his study, experiencing an odd sort of high.

_Is this what it's like to have a boyfriend?_

Ciel immediately wanted to slap himself for how ridiculously  _one-dimensional_ he sounded with that revelation. Instead, he opened the door to his office with long sigh. Before he could sit down at his desk, however, Ciel's mouth and nose were unexpectedly enveloped in a strong ( _familiar_ ) scent -  _chloroform_. He struggled half-heartedly for a few moments, but his vision quickly faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for stopping by...see you in a week! ^_^


	8. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel wakes to a nightmare (although, it was one he expected).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Here we are again, with an update. Unfortunately, we're slowly catching up to where my writing stops. I'll have to see if it'll be possible for me to finish with the plot I originally wanted, or at least get to a stopping point and then put the rest in another story. Anyways, thanks for coming back! :)
> 
> TW: fairly graphic depictions of rape (one scene), domestic abuse (the same scene), and violence throughout the chapter. The aforementioned scene occurs between "battered stomach" and "Ciel came to sluggishly", if you want to skip it. Also, a little bit of cursing, ofc. *sigh* Poor Ciel.

**Part 8: Alone**

**"I stand alone beside you."**

* * *

Ciel woke, stiff and in pain, to the unmistakable sounds of bustling traffic.  _Seattle?_ Before he fully opened his eyes, Ciel took stock of his body. His arms were bound uncomfortably to his sides, and his wrists were roped tightly together as well. An attempt to shift his legs informed him that his ankles were restricted in some fashion too. As he slowly opened his eyes, he noticed that they were chained together. _Thorough_ , he thought drily. The chillingly familiar taste of his blood laid on his tongue, and he could feel dried bits of it clinging to the sparse hairs on his upper lip.

"So, this is the backbone that keeps The  _Queen's_ ," a vaguely familiar voice spat Victoria's moniker with distinct distaste. "kingdom in working order? The policeman of the underworld? The rich white family that's been doing the Queen family's dirty work for decades…Victoria Queen's guard dog, who takes down anybody who dares to stand in her way."

Ciel tilted his head up to glare at his kidnapper's face when the man finally stepped into his line of sight.  _Ah, and the rat reveals his face._

"Ciel Phantomhive – just how many nicknames do have?" asked Azzurro Vanel rhetorically. "And how many families have you destroyed?"

Ciel grimaced slightly and withheld a sigh. "Yes, I expected that it would be you, Vanel." He adopted a bored expression, angling his head back further. "Even for a filthy Mafia rat such as yourself, this is pretty damn low."

Vanel sneered for just a moment – and it was a truly disturbing expression, what with that  _scar_  – before his face smoothed out again. He laughed, but it was a laugh filled with shattered glass. "Come  _on_ , Ciel. Do you know how hard it is for us in the drug business?" He sighed dramatically. "All of these laws restricting the best shit – it means we have to get creative." He paused in his monologue to light a cigarette. "And so, someone sold us the neat little idea of putting  _heroin_ in the  _juice!_ " He laughed uproariously, as though he were shocked no one had attempted to market the idea in the past, stiflingly thick, grey smoke pervading the air around him as he did so. "That shit isn't for me, but it's great for the business, you know?"

Ciel felt truly and utterly disgusted by the filth who had captured him. "It's dangerous, Vanel, not to mention completely and totally illegal. Heroin has been a Schedule I substance under the Controlled Substances Act since 1970." Vanel rolled his eyes, clearly sure that he would easily kill and silence Ciel once he had extracted the information he needed. Ciel plowed on. "Under the command of Victoria Queen, governess of Washington State, I will strive to eliminate all illegal drugs and the vermin that possess and distribute them."

" _Fuck_ ," Vanel groaned lowly. In an apparent fit of petulance, he spun on his heel and hurled the cigarette through the open window and out to the busy streets many stories below. "I can't understand how you people are so  _loyal_ to her! What the fuck has she done for you? It's not like she's your  _mother_!"

 _What has Victoria Queen done for_ me?

Ciel could remember too clearly the despicable state he had been discovered in just a few years ago - his iris drained of all color and the surrounding skin chemically incinerated, hair matted with blood and semen, abdomen thoroughly bruised and horrifically malnourished, spirit broken near-beyond repair. But she had brought him back home – back to Teneview, back to that empty house – save for the ghosts of the late Phantomhives. Victoria Queen had sat with him through his first doctor's visit in two long years. Victoria Queen had returned his last known surviving family member to the Phantomhive home. Victoria Queen had paid for two years of recovery therapy. Victoria Queen had talked him down from the ledge when no one else was there to do it. Victoria Queen had employed him, given him something else to focus on besides his demons. Victoria Queen had gifted him a home away from home in Lygerastia, for when he couldn't bear to look at Madame Red's tearful, pitying eyes and simply needed a warm, willing body and a bed that  _wasn't_ the one which his dead parents had helped him pick out for his eighth birthday –

_Fuck –_

"Myself, on the other hand," Vanel continued, interrupting Ciel's mental tirade. " _I_ can offer you riches beyond measure, all the drugs you could possibly desire, and a lifetime of protection." He grinned lopsidedly down at Ciel, and it was all hard edges and black smoke. "We don't have to be enemies here, Ciel."

Ciel cleared his throat of the lump that had lodged itself inconveniently in his throat. "I've already left orders for your drugs to be shipped out today. It doesn't matter if you know where they are – you'll never get there in time." He paused and added, like an afterthought, "Besides, I'd never befriend a rotten piece of shit such as yourself, Vanel."

Vanel's face twisted again. "If you're fucking lying, I'll break your goddamn neck, Ciel."

Ciel smirked, having regained his equilibrium. "Well, that would be a crying shame. In the event that I don't return within the next – " he paused, noting the time on the old-fashioned analog clock across the room, " – two hours, my associates have been instructed to send all of the evidence I have collected incriminating you for illegal heroin distribution straight to the Queen's office." He slid his gaze to the side, a clear dismissal. "Mission accomplished."

Vanel started forward abruptly, all pretense of patience vaporizing in the face of his frustration. The mar across his face contorted, the skin tightening around it alarmingly. "You little  _bitch_! Don't mess with me, runt!" When Ciel showed no reaction besides an unaffected cough, Vanel seemed to compose himself, a dark grin taking up residence on his face. "Well…my men are already stationed in your house, Ciel. Your  _associates_ will be sniped before they can hit  _send._ " He crouched down to Ciel's level and peered into his eye. " _Unless_  you tell me where the goods are, they'll start hitting the ground one by one."

Ciel smiled pleasantly, a farce but an entertaining one all the same. "I'm bored… I hope your pets can put up a bit of a fight."

With a snarl of absolute fury –  _yes, definitely a snarl_ , Ciel thought as spittle landed on his cheeks just before the breathtaking impact – Azzurro Vanel suddenly roundhouse-kicked Ciel in the face. Ciel involuntarily released a choked-back grunt at the force of it. His temple had taken most of the weight of the kick, so he didn't think he would lose any teeth, but Ciel knew that he almost definitely wouldn't escape without a fucking awful concussion.

 _And a few fractured ribs, while we're at it_ , he mentally groaned as Vanel landed a few kicks on his ribcage as well.

Vanel's face was a strange agglomeration of satisfied, disgusted, incensed and fascinated when he reached for the iPhone in his back pocket. Ciel fought to keep conscious as the bastard slowly leaned more and more of his weight into Ciel's frail torso. "Hey, idiot! Get this – no more waiting. Take him out."

At this, Ciel's heart skipped several beats.

_Him?_

It could be one of three people: Lau, Tanaka or Sebastian.

To be honest, Ciel truly wouldn't care all that much if Lau were to be gunned down, as long as the mission reached completion. Granted, it would be the loss of a pretty loyal business partner, but everyone was expendable. However, Ciel had grown quite attached to Sebastian and he was pretty sure that he would regress into a completely antisocial state if anything were to happen to him (outside of what Ciel saw fit to inflict, naturally). The very thought of it caused his throat to tighten, and Ciel weakly coughed a bit of blood up onto the carpet.

Tanaka was non-negotiable.

Vanel suddenly hung up the phone, shoving it roughly into his pocket. Then, he sat on the floor in front of Ciel, who glared up at the man with nothing but contempt. "Ciel. Let's assume that everyone in that house is dead. Are you really gonna tell me that you'd still not tell me what I want to know? What would be the point?"

Ciel was sufficiently perplexed until he realised that the older man seemed to be completely serious.  _Oh._ Evidently, Vanel was trying to use a different approach –  _reason_. Ciel would have found it laughable, that is, if laughing didn't make him violently hack up blood.

"The p-point," Ciel coughed weakly after a long pause, "is that, in the end, I still get to fuck you over, asshat."

Vanel scrambled to his feet, whirled around, and flipped a large wooden table that had been laden with papers and folders. Then, he turned back around and launched a few more kicks into Ciel's abdomen.

 _Well_ , Ciel thought offhandedly as his vision faded grey around the edges,  _at least I know for sure that there's no chance of me being in A Midsummer Night's Dream._

He was guided into darkness by the unsteady convulsions of his body following every meeting of Vanel's boot with his battered stomach.

* * *

Ciel.

Ciel.

Wake up, sweetie.

_Ciel groaned and tried to stretch his stiff limbs, but he found himself restricted by several hard objects. He frowned, but he did not open his eyes._

_"_ _Wake up, bitch!"_

_Ciel's eyes snapped open just in time for his cage to rock with the force of John's kick. He was jolted slightly, which wouldn't have bothered him much if it weren't for the fact that he could still feel semen like a scalding pool in his belly and blood like excretion sliding down his thighs. He groaned again._

_John showed no mercy. "Come make breakfast for the family, Ciel."_

_Not wanting to incur the wrath that Ciel could hear simmering underneath John's seemingly casual wording, Ciel uncomfortably crawled from the cage and scowled up from the floor at John, who was leaning comfortably against the bed that he had fucked Ciel in just hours ago._

_Ciel could hear the chatter of boisterous conversation through the open door, as if this household were normal._

_As if, earlier last night, John's middle son – Sean, who was fourteen, just three years older than Ciel – hadn't taken Ciel to_ his  _room and played with Ciel using his fingers, his cock, his lips and tongue, as if Ciel were nothing but a sex toy meant only for Sean's experimentation, until John's wife had called from the dining room, "Time for dinner, boys!" and after a slight pause, "Sean, don't forget to bring Ciel back to your father's room!"_

_But, like an obedient little doll, Ciel only asked, voice rough from the abusing his throat had taken last night, "Do I clean myself first, Daddy?"_

_John nodded, seemingly pleased, and ruffled Ciel's hair as if Ciel were his son._

Fuck him.

Fuck all of them.

Fuck John and his perfect house with its not-so-perfect family.

_Instead of voicing his anger, Ciel turned silently towards John's bathroom. As he wet the rag, he wondered how much longer he would have to endure this disgusting family before he was moved onto the next one. He shuddered as he probed inside himself to clean out the thick, pinkish mess. He avoided looking at himself in the mirror, not wanting to see his face. Ciel took his time, savoring the brief respite and the rare time he was given to take care of himself by himself._

_"_ _Ciel!" John's voice suddenly echoed out from another room, sending a cold chill up Ciel's spine. "Don't make me come in there, young man! It's time for breakfast!"_

_Ciel quickly tossed the blue cloth into the laundry hamper and made his way out to the kitchen, stark naked. By now, he was used to it._

_As he puttered around between the refrigerator, the pantry and the stove, making omelets for the family whose eyes he wanted to claw out every day of his miserable life, the older son, Jared, appeared in the doorway to the dining room, a lewd little smile on his face. Ciel ignored him, wishing to simply complete his task and get back to his cage, the only place where he could feel apart from reality, but Jared stepped into his path._

Stop.

Stop.

Don't do this.

_"_ _Excuse me," Ciel said quietly, trying to step around the very tall, very broad nineteen-year-old. But Jared just grinned widely and crowded Ciel against the counter. Without hesitation, he leaned into Ciel's thoroughly-violated personal space with his entire body. One of his large hands slid over Ciel's ass, teasing over his abused hole, while the other one grabbed Ciel's flaccid (and now, quite raw) dick and began to stroke, dry. His grin opened against Ciel's neck when Jared leaned down to lap at his throat._

_"_ _Fuck breakfast, you're coming to my bed for the day," he growled into Ciel's skin._

_Ciel released a shuddering breath, his arousal slowly becoming evident despite himself, despite the agony and despite the humiliation. "Yes, big brother," he moaned, despising himself with every single fiber of his being._

* * *

Ciel came to sluggishly, blinking uncomfortably. When his eyes were fully open, he could see Vanel standing at the window.

He shifted, trying to determine how much damage had been done, and let out a stifled cry of anguish when pain streaked through his torso like a lightning bolt. The pained noise caused Vanel to turn back towards him, his face carefully blank, and Ciel hissed wordlessly in response.

Before Vanel could speak, however, his phone went off, and he grinned darkly, triumphant. Even in his uncomfortable horizontal position, he felt his heart drop into his feet as if he were standing upright. Vanel turned his speaker-phone on, probably so that he could rub Ciel's face in the fact that all of his friends had been killed.

"Boss?" a voice said on the phone eventually.

"Yes, hi, Thomas. Is it done?" he snapped, his patience apparently gone. Ciel, virtually unable to move, found himself staring at one of Vanel's feet as he moved closer and brought his face just out of Ciel's field of vision – the toe of the boot was coated in the burgundy sheen of Ciel's blood.

 _Thomas_ stuttered, apparently terrified. "N-no…I'm sorry, we f-failed."

" _Failed?_ " he roared. From the sound of Vanel's voice, he was absolutely  _livid_. "You useless goddamn bastards. Get back here immediately, you worthless piece of shit!"

Thomas's breath caught audibly, and his voice suddenly dropped dramatically in volume. "Oh,  _shit._ " Ciel could just barely hear someone speaking very frantically near the phone, but he couldn't make out the words. "Oh,  _fuck._  We're dead."

Vanel opened his mouth, clearly about to speak, when the two men released a bloodcurdling scream that caused him to wince and yank the phone away from his ear.

"Go faster, idiot!" Thomas bellowed. The other voice was still too far away for Ciel to make out his response. "He's coming!"

Despite being miles away and fairly sure that  _he_ was one of his men and, therefore, not in any immediate danger, Ciel felt a chill slip down his vertebrae at the sheer terror in that man's voice.

"What's coming?" Vanel snapped. "Stop fucking around!"

The other man screamed incoherently, and Thomas bit back another curse. Vanel's face contorted in his confused fury, and he spoke up again. "What the hell is going on?"

"It's too late! He's  _here-_!" Thomas was cut off by his own soul-rending shriek. The cries of his partner soon followed, and then everything on the other end went eerily silent.

"Hey…" Vanel whispered after the quiet reigned for a few moments. "H-hey. Hey! What happened?"

Ciel coughed thickly and managed to spit out a few words. "I suppose your little pets didn't put up much of a fight after all."

Vanel turned and took out his frustration on Ciel. "Shut the fuck up, you damn brat!" he snarled, viciously kicking Ciel in the ribs several more times and once in the face for good measure.

_Looks like Madame Red was right about this job being incredibly dangerous._

"Answer me, or I will  _destroy_ you!" Vanel shouted at the phone as the lack of response continued.

The quietude dragged on for a little bit longer before a low, familiar voice suddenly became audible. "Hello?" the voice said, quite hesitantly.

 _Sebastian._ Ciel exhaled a shuddering breath, relieved. Then he smiled beatifically up at his captor with all of the false bravado he could muster. Vanel, who was clearly dumbfounded with a large helping of outraged, seemed unable to speak, so Sebastian continued, sounding somewhat puzzled. "Hello? Is Ciel there? Is something wrong? Why aren't you answering?"

Vanel ground his teeth together and eventually hissed an answer. "Who the  _fuck_ am I speaking to?"

There was another pause, this one tense like a violin string pulled taut in expectation of a Bartók pizzicato, and Ciel felt his stomach clench with anxiety. It only worsened when Vanel took the prolonged silence as an opportunity for him to ensure that Ciel was fully incapacitated – he ground his boot into Ciel's ( _absolutely, positively broken_ ) ribs, eliciting a pathetic whimper of anguish that he immediately wished he could retract.

 _You pathetic piece of shit,_ he thought to himself.

"Oh," Sebastian breathed. Then Sebastian's voice warped, a frigid quality creeping around the edges. "So  _you're_ the man who kidnapped my boyfriend." Vanel's eyes bulged, and a hysterical cackle burst out of his mouth, seemingly unintentionally. His cronies behind him chuckled stiffly for a few moments until Vanel held up a hand for them to cease and desist.

"Ciel Phantomhive - You're a  _faggot_?" Vanel spat, still laughing. "And what, you think that your  _twink_  boyfriend is gonna come  _here_ and bust you out?" The chortles eventually faded to nothing, and Vanel wiped imaginary tears from his eyes. "I'd like to see him try."

"I'd like to see you try and stop me," Sebastian replied levelly, and Ciel swore he felt the temperature in the room drop at  _least_ ten degrees. Vanel's lips twitched downward in a way that communicated the fact that he was beginning to feel the pressure as well.

Ciel spat some of his blood onto Vanel's soiled carpet and attempted to speak again despite the pain. "Sebastian," he called hoarsely, hoping that his discomfort, approval and weariness was all conveyed in his tone of voice. "Actions."  _They speak a lot louder than words,_ he wanted to say, but a cough cut him off.

Sebastian emitted a strange sound that Ciel couldn't put a name to, one not unlike Ciel's earlier whine – albeit at a significantly lower pitch. "I'm coming to get you as quickly as I can, baby," he said.

Ciel's eyes fell shut at the sweet term of endearment, and he sighed quietly, not sure if he felt relieved. He was fairly surprised, however, at how much he  _didn't_ hate the word, coming from Sebastian's mouth.

But apparently, Sebastian wasn't done. "Please try to stay awake – if for nothing but to see the look on this asshat's face when I get my hands on him." Ciel nodded to himself, even knowing that Sebastian wouldn't see it. The line clicked dead.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Vanel whirled around and began barking orders, sending men out to watch the main entrance and any other possible entry points, telling them to be armed and move in groups, but Ciel tuned them out and focused on the thought of Sebastian arriving and whisking him away from this shithole.

* * *

Alois came with a groan, and his descent was syrup-sweet and slow. He took the time to recline on the couch, feeling warm, sated and appreciated in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. His eyes followed his boyfriend around the house with not a small degree of fondness. They'd only known each other for a week, but Alois felt so  _comfortable_ and  _real_  around Claude.

_So fuck Ciel._

But Alois immediately regretted even thinking it. He knew that Ciel's birthday was quickly approaching, only a week away. He also knew that Ciel's cyclical vomiting had almost definitely started up again.

That yanked Alois quite efficiently out of his post-coital bliss.

Alois ran a hand through his hopelessly unkempt blond hair and sighed deeply. He was glad for Claude's cousin, Sebastian, who had latched onto Ciel like a red-eyed, subservient little leech and seemed to have no intentions of letting go in the near future. Although Alois was, frankly, pretty creeped out by Sebastian, his willingness to support and care for Ciel in this time of crisis was a priceless gift, so Alois was more than willing to accept him.

Claude rejoined Alois on the couch, toting a warm, wet washcloth, which he gently pressed to Alois's inner thigh and used to begin wiping off the mess. "So…what's the deal with Sebastian?" Alois asked.

Claude's movements halted slightly, and he looked up at Alois, apparently searching for something in his gaze. He must have found whatever he was looking for, as he restarted his cleaning process and began speaking. "Well…it's a long story."

"I like long things," Alois quipped back, smirking.

Claude rolled his eyes and allowed his eyes to roam freely over the pale expanse of his boyfriend's legs. And if, in his mind where no one could see, Claude would have preferred a certain dark-haired boy's more slender thighs and slim calves, the beautiful, silvery scars of his past life just  _barely_ visible against the white of his skin, then… _who did it hurt?_

"I'll try to give you the short version. He has obsessive tendencies –  _has_ had them, for as long as I can remember. Once he sees something he likes, he ambushes it, worships it, clutches onto it until it breaks under the pressure." Claude sighed and leaned back. "It's happened with his last three boyfriends. At first, they love the attention, but they tend to quickly realise how creepy his obsession is – that it's not love like they initially thought." With a shrug, he finished. "Usually, they just get restraining orders, but the last guy, Henry… Eventually, he began to see Sebastian as a stalker and committed suicide."

Alois was sufficiently shell-shocked. "I thought he seemed a little off, but not psychologically damaged. Now I'm not so sure that I want him around Ciel…"

Alois was really unsure about the whole affair. It was great that Sebastian was willing to give so much of his time and his heart to Ciel, but Ciel definitely didn't need to be smothered by a guy with a mental disorder. And it wasn't really  _love_ , then, was it? Alois couldn't help himself – as he thought it, his eyes drifted towards Claude, and he blushed.

Claude shrugged nonchalantly again, unseeing, and put on his glasses. "Yeah, he's a bit of a fucked up guy, but we're family, so…"

Alois pulled his boyfriend in for a deep, penetrating kiss that left him with a recreated version of that content feeling from a few minutes prior. With a casual salute, Claude left Alois's house, and Alois succumbed to his unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for stopping by! See you in about a week for part 9. ^_^


	9. Fixation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanel faces the consequences of messing with Ciel. (And Ciel faces the consequences of messing with Vanel.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyy, it's been a while. I apologize. Anyways, yeah. Here we go!
> 
> TW: violence, kissing with blood involved, mentions of past emotional/physical abuse.

**Part 9: Fixation**

**"You'll never dream of breaking this fixation."**

* * *

_Today is Sunday._

Sitting alone in that room, with Vanel, Ciel had plenty of time to reevaluate the situation.

Earlier this week, Ciel had planned for every possibility, including this one.  _Especially_ this one – the most likely scenario. It was perfect – the vast majority of Vanel's men had gone off to church (because  _unfathomably_ , the corrupt and immoral masses of the Italian mob found salvation in practicing Christianity) at noon. To stall them, Ciel had arranged for a major traffic jam at every intersection that could be used as a route back to the base, which would force them to travel on foot or wait.

(Lastly, at that very moment, Ciel made a split-second decision and thumped the side of his head against the floor almost silently, pressing against the miniscule button hidden in his earring and activating its emergency call function, which would set off an alarm on Randall's phone and broadcast his location. Judging by experience, he had approximately seven minutes until the police arrived and rescued him, if Sebastian didn't get here first.)

 _At this point in the day, if all has gone according to plan, Vanel's foot soldiers should be frantically driving back, still twenty minutes away at_ best _and unable to halt the progression of events. And since Vanel is an overconfident idiot who wouldn't even bother to check in with his subordinates before going through with his shitty plan, he probably has no idea._

 _Now it's just up to me_ – and Sebastian.

Ciel jolted slightly, and almost immediately regretted it, when the harsh sound of gunshots began relentlessly attacking his ears.

"You hear that, Ciel?" Vanel shouted over the onslaught. "That means your boyfriend is  _dead_."

Ciel closed his eyes and hoped against hope that Vanel was wrong.  _I set Sebastian up for success; if one of us ends up dead, then it wasn't meant to be in the first place._

Vanel approached Ciel, crouching down to meet his one visible eye and letting his gun dangle casually from one hand. "Last chance, Ciel."

Ciel spat a mix of blood and saliva onto the floor and said nothing.

"Fine, I guess I'll just kill you," that idiot said, poking at Ciel's bruised cheek with the barrel of the pistol. "With your self-righteous, Queen-pleasing ass gone, it would be one more thing out of my way!" Vanel cackled manically, and then he paused, tilting his head in thought as if he were deeply considering something. "Though, I admit it would be a shame to just let that pretty face go to waste. You're a bit beat-up," he continued, most likely trying to get a rise out of Ciel. "But that sweet face might be worth the money you just lost me today."

Ciel licked his lips, heart beating a bit faster despite himself as his eyepatch was tugged from his face, exposing the tight, white scars which crawled over the right side of his face like a metastasizing disease. "Oh, don't be afraid, sweetheart," Vanel muttered lowly, tilting Ciel's chin up with his free hand. "By the time those sick fucks get their hands on you, you'll be so high on the best shit that you won't feel a thing."

_Out out get out get away out of my face -_

Suddenly, the gunshots stopped, causing Vanel to cut his tirade short in surprise. Then, there was the faint sound of shoes tapping against wood flooring, but even that stopped after a few moments. Ciel tensed in the silence, shaken and absolutely sure that Sebastian had been killed and that he was going to have to place all of his hopes on Contingency Plan A.

But that line of thought was effectively terminated when a stifled, but distinct, shattering sound occurred. A few moments later, a muffled thump, followed by Vanel's shriek of indignation, announced someone's arrival through the window ( _the window, the open window that Vanel, the goddamn idiot, threw his cigarette through_ ).

But more importantly, Ciel could clearly see a pair of legs from where he was bound on the floor.

_Well-worn black jeans and a pair of blue, tie-dyed Converse._

From his disadvantageous position, Ciel could not see Sebastian's face, but he did hear a sharp intake of breath. Vanel, however, was perfectly in Ciel's line of sight. His countenance was an odd mixture of incredulity, fear and fury.

"Ciel," Sebastian breathed. And Ciel couldn't see his face, but  _God_ , how he wished he could have.

Vanel visibly and audibly ground his teeth together. "Eyes on me, fucker!" he tightened his grip on the pistol he had brought out earlier and aimed it at Sebastian's torso, but left the safety on. "Who are you, really? To get past my men with no scratches? There's no way that you're just Phantomhive's piece of ass."

Sebastian hesitated a moment, but then he slowly answered, sounding more than a bit sarcastic, "I am really just his boyfriend."

"Oh,  _really_?" Vanel laughed. "He must be good in bed; otherwise, I'm not sure how anyone could put up with that disrespectful fucking mouth." He rolled his eyes and, moving quickly enough that Ciel could not brace himself first, suddenly dragged Ciel up by his hair and rested the cool muzzle of the gun against his temple. "Anyways, if you want to save him, you'll have to get through me first."

Though the position was quite painful – and Ciel could not ignore the pitiful, partially muted whimper that escaped him when he was so roughly tugged off of the ground – Ciel could not find it within himself to complain –  _no,_ not when he could finally,  _finally_ see Sebastian's face.

Sebastian's expression and stance suggested cool composure and control. Even his mouth was a relaxed, flat line. The only indication of any emotion could be found in his eyes. His  _fucking red as the spilled blood dripping from my chin and onto the floor_ eyes were aflame with the fire of ten million furiously bright suns, and Ciel could not help his reflexive, full-body shudder at the poorly-restrained malice there.

Vanel shifted, and Ciel was sure he was sneering. "Do you want to see your cute little boyfriend with a hole through his head, fag?" he hissed, pressing the gun harder against Ciel's skull.

Sebastian took a cautious step forward, and Vanel tensed. Then he inhaled sharply, hand tightening against Ciel's scalp, which, of course, caused Ciel to wince violently. Judging by Vanel's reaction, he had just realized that something had gone very wrong.

"If you're looking for your men, Vanel, they're occupied at the moment," Ciel choked out. Sebastian's gaze shifted down to him, softening slightly, and despite his current position and situation, Ciel felt somewhat soothed.

Vanel's hand pulled viciously at Ciel's hair, and Ciel squirmed again, barely suppressing a quiet yelp of pain. "Did you kill my  _men_ , you little fucktard?" he roared.

"No, asshole!" Ciel shouted back, voice cracking with emotion. "Unlike some people, I don't condone unneeded killing!"

Before Vanel could quite process his words, Sebastian had dove in at the other man, wresting the gun from his hands and wrenching both of his arms back at an angle that  _definitely_  shouldn't be physically possible with a sickening  _crack_ , eliciting a blood-chilling scream of pure agony. Once Vanel was incapacitated and Sebastian had found the key to Ciel's ankle cuffs in one of his pockets, Sebastian rushed back over to Ciel, concern outweighing the anger in his eyes.

Sebastian quickly untied the rope that held Ciel's arms and wrists together and unlocked the ankle cuffs keeping Ciel's feet restricted. Once he was free, Ciel immediately wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and relaxed, breathing in deeply.

"Oh, fuck," Sebastian was saying, over and over again. " _Fuck_ , Ciel, I'm so sorry you had to do this. So fucking sorry I wasn't here faster, baby," he mumbled distraughtly into Ciel's ear.

In lieu of answering, Ciel leaned back so that he could see into Sebastian's eyes and then pressed his split and bloody lips none-too-gently against Sebastian's. Sebastian's response was almost immediate and very enthusiastic.

He cradled the back of Ciel's neck and lower skull with just his left hand, the one Ciel knew had that incredibly intricate tattoo, and he pressed his left thumb right into that  _delicious_ junction behind Ciel's ear, gently massaging the still-sensitive love bite from earlier that day, all while he licked the blood right out of Ciel's mouth with a possessive frenzy that incited a pleasant heat in his limbs. Ciel sighed, even knowing that he should probably be finding the act disgusting and that Vanel was lying just meters away, horribly injured but awake, and very much able to watch.

Ciel leaned into him, weak and having a difficult time of not simply slumping over in Sebastian's lap like a puppet with the strings cut. Sebastian seemed to notice how Ciel's arms trembled where they rested on his shoulders, and he leaned back so that they were mostly horizontal and Ciel could just rest his weight on Sebastian's torso.

When Sebastian pulled back, Ciel made a small sound of discontent, unable to help himself in his sorry state. But Ciel's boyfriend simply lifted one of Ciel's raw wrists to his lips and placed a soft kiss, punctuated by just a flick of tongue, to the worst of his rope abrasions, looking up at Ciel through his dark lashes with lips painted  _literally_ blood-red with a thin sheen of saliva from their sloppy kiss -

And  _fuck –_

Ciel twitched in his jeans, excited by the debaucherous image despite the sorry state of his rest of his body.

His face flushed in embarrassment and arousal, and after Sebastian gave his other wrist the same treatment, Ciel stroked a gentle hand over Sebastian's hair, grateful in a way he wouldn't normally allow himself to be, had he been more cognizant, for the beautiful creature who somehow wanted to support  _him_ , of all people.

Exhaling slowly, Ciel stood, with Sebastian's help. He supposed that maybe he should be a bit uncomfortable walking around with a burgeoning erection, but considering the fact that one of the two men in the room was his boyfriend and the other one was a dead man walking –  _or rather, lying?_  – Ciel couldn't find it in himself to care all that much.

Vanel stared up at Ciel, tears of terror in his eyes. His voice was slurred with pain and ( _maybe?_ ) regret. "Please, Ciel. Spare me! Oh, God, please don't kill me."

Ciel glanced down at the handgun that had fallen to the floor, forgotten, when Sebastian had tackled Vanel. Then he glanced back up at Sebastian, who rushed to comply with Ciel's unspoken demand. Sebastian aimed the gun at the man's head, his face placid and somewhat expectant.

But Ciel preferred knives. They were less unpredictable, could be hidden more easily on one's person, and, most importantly, they didn't leave Ciel's ears ringing after they were used. So he crouched, reaching into his right shoe with a considerable amount of pain, and handed his switchblade to Sebastian, who flicked the safety on the gun before carefully setting it on a nearby table. He kneeled, allowing Ciel to lean on his shoulder, and rested the blade of the knife against Vanel's throat.

Vanel struggled to move his body, but without the use of his arms, it was a fruitless attempt.

"But wait! You said that you didn't condone unneeded killing! Why would you kill me, then?" Vanel shouted, a useless, last-ditch effort at saving his life. If he hadn't been such a pompous, self-serving asshole who would end his grandmother's life at the drop of a hat if it would perpetuate his business, maybe Ciel would pity him  _just a little._

As it was, Ciel scowled down at him and responded flatly, "Oh, I assure you; yours is a completely necessary death." Squeezing Sebastian's shoulder to indicate that he should make the fatal cut, Ciel bade Vanel farewell. "See you in hell."

Sebastian neatly slashed the man's throat, and Vanel let out a series of hideous gurgling noises as he drowned in his own blood. Despite Ciel's fucked-up personality and general apathetic attitude towards people who stood in the way of his ultimate goal, Ciel could freely admit that he found nothing beautiful in humanity in its final moments. He was aware that death was something that happened every day; killing never bothered him. But watching the life leave someone's eyes, watching as they regretted every mistake that had ever led them to that moment – it was never something he wanted to see.

Ciel turned away as Vanel's body twitched on the ground and Sebastian shifted in his tight grip, seemingly about to speak.

Ciel heard the sirens outside in that moment, and Sebastian tensed, stricken. Ciel would have liked to explain the situation to him, but now that the adrenaline rush was gone, he could feel himself dozing off again.

He tried to catch Sebastian's attention before he completely fell under, to no avail. "Seba – "

* * *

It was the sound of the door slamming shut that eventually woke him up.

Ciel shivered, shaking off the clutches of his deep sleep, and moved to scratch his forehead, because something uncomfortable was stuck to it. However, it was then that he noticed that his left hand was captured by something warm.

Fully opening his eyes, Ciel realised that Sebastian was sitting in a chair next to his bed, staring right back at him. As he watched, Sebastian's expression morphed from exhaustion to elation.

"You're finally awake!" he said, beaming jubilantly, but Ciel could tell he was tired.

Ciel paused to take in his surroundings before speaking, stroking over the itchy padded bandage attached to his temple. The smell that everyone always talks about – the one that tells you you're in a hospital – was highly prevalent. But looking around the room, he could see a few little personal touches, and once his eyes caught sight of the view through the window, Ciel knew that he was resting in one of his aunt's makeshift hospital rooms back home at the manor.

"Sebastian," Ciel started to say, but his voice was a bit hoarse from disuse. He cleared his throat and blinked lethargically. "What happened?"

Sebastian stared down at their intertwined hands for a few silent moments before looking back up at Ciel.

"Well, after it was all…over…the police showed up. I thought we would be arrested, but one of them, a man with these huge sideburns, saw you and made sure that all of the other cops with him knew that you were the victim." Sebastian's hand tightened its grip on Ciel's. "I think they wrote it off as self-defense."

Ciel nodded and closed his eyes again, satisfied.

Then he realised that he didn't have his eyepatch.

His free hand flew up to his face, feeling the thick web of scar tissue reaching out from his right eye. "W…Where the fuck is my eyepatch?" he whispered, suddenly feeling exposed.

Sebastian frowned. "On the table, next to you."

Ciel, unable to see into his peripheral on that side, turned away from Sebastian to pick it up. Turning back, he asked quietly, "Can you tie this on for me?"

Sebastian gently took the silk strings from his hand and looped them around the back of Ciel's head while Ciel held the actual patch up to his face. Once the knot at the back of his head was secured, Ciel spoke up again. "What day is it?"

"Tuesday."

Ciel struggled to swallow back bile as his eyes watered up. "Can you…can you bring me a bucket or something? I'm going to – " he cut himself off, covering his mouth with both hands as he gagged.

Sebastian ran from the room and returned moments later, bearing a large metal pot from the kitchen. Ciel barely had enough time to grab it before the next wave came and he was releasing the meager contents of his empty stomach into the pot. He kept his eyes shut so that he wouldn't have to look at the vomit; years of experience told him that it would just make him even sicker.

Eyes still clenched shut, Ciel brandished the pot at Sebastian, who graciously took it from his hands and set it underneath the bed.

A soft touch on his cheek surprised Ciel into opening his eyes.

Sebastian held two Altoids in one of his hands. "Open up," he said, stroking Ciel's cheek again to coax his mouth open. Ciel flushed slightly but obediently parted his lips with only the slightest rolling of his eyes, allowing Sebastian to slip the cinnamon candies in.

Sebastian stroked back and forth over Ciel's bottom lip with the pad of his thumb as Ciel chewed the tablets, quietly telling him, "Your ribs were fractured, but not a full break, luckily. No internal bleeding. You have a concussion, but considering that you've spent the last two days mostly sleeping, you should be fine."

Ciel nodded slowly. "And what about school?"

"Taken care of."

"Tanaka?"

"Making you dinner right now."

"My aunt?"

"Probably napping upstairs."

"An-"

"Ciel." Sebastian said somewhat firmly, halting the gentle movement of his thumb. "Everyone's fine. Everything's covered. You're safe. You did  _so_ well. Please, relax for a few minutes. For me."

Ciel scowled, feeling patronized by his own boyfriend and not very happy about it. But when Sebastian leaned in for what Ciel was sure would have been a very persuasive kiss, he at least had the presence of mind to push him back.

Ciel made a vehement sound of protest. "I still have vomit breath. A few mints isn't going to solve that."

Sebastian stared at him blankly before a mischievous (scratch that – it was positively  _sinister_ ) grin crawled onto his face. "Fine then," he said, as smug and teasing as he had been when Ciel had first met him just a week ago.

Fleetingly, Ciel thought that he would not hesitate to move heaven and earth just to ensure that that particular satisfied, playful look remained on Sebastian's face and was only directed at him.

 _Whipped,_ he heard Alois's voice say in the back of his head, and he couldn't find it in himself to deny it.

However, any thoughts of whipping were immediately banished from Ciel's mind as Sebastian leaned down and attached his mouth to Ciel's neck. The warm, wet, suckling sensation caused Ciel's cheeks to burst into flame anew, but the humming sound Sebastian began to make as he pressed numerous  _obscene_ kisses into the sensitive skin just above Ciel's collarbones was sending all of the blood in Ciel's face rushing furiously down to his groin.  _I'm wearing one of my nightgowns,_ Ciel realised absently, a fact which he became painfully, jarringly aware of when Sebastian thumbed the silk slowly over his right nipple, forcing Ciel to emit an extremely undignified, drawn-out, high-pitched, and humiliating whine as his cock jumped up, trying valiantly to tent the thin, white fabric of his night shirt.

Of course, it was at that moment that Alois, with all of his impeccable timing, chose to bust into the room, Claude, Lizzy, Soma and Agni in tow, just in time to hear Ciel moaning like a whore.

_Lovely._

Alois, his usual grace and tact plentiful, began to playfully scold Ciel. "Wow, here we were worrying about you, and you were just in here with your boyfriend, getting your rocks off! You certainly don't waste time, do you?"

Sebastian chuckled quietly into Ciel's sternum and nipped once more at Ciel's skin, which pulled one last strangled -  _mortifying –_ moan from Ciel's throat, before moving back and giving him some space.

Ciel frantically grasped for the thin sheet which Sebastian must have pushed down at some point, yanking it back up in a futile attempt to cover himself. Sebastian angled his body so as to block Ciel's lap from view of the doorway, and though he was well-aware that they had all seen  _exactly_ how his body had been reacting, Ciel was grateful for the help.

"Haven't you ever heard of fucking  _knocking?_ " Ciel barked shrilly, cheeks stained rosy from embarrassment.

Lizzy, true to form, squeaked and sprinted from the room, Agni averted his eyes, the red dusting his dark cheeks denoting intense embarrassment on Ciel's behalf, and Soma attempted to look properly contrite, but only succeeded in coming across as constipated.

Alois, however, had no such reservations. He waved off Ciel's fury, striding around the bed to take the seat on Ciel's other side. Claude followed like a silent shadow, his eyes lingering probingly on the wet pinkness around Ciel's neck and upper chest and the place where Ciel's hands carefully covered his crotch over the few thin layers of fabric.

_Fucking creep._

Ciel watched Alois's eyes roam around his still-bruised face, and he watched as his friend's face tightened with displeasure.

"Can you guys give us a few minutes alone?" Alois asked, voice sounding slightly strained.

Sebastian looked as if he very much wanted to protest, but at one half-hearted shooing motion from Ciel, he silently left the room, Claude close on his heels and Soma and Agni not far behind.

"Did the job go okay?" Alois asked as soon as they were alone. Thankfully, he kept his eyes trained steadily on Ciel's face.

Ciel rolled his eyes, glad he was practically high from pain medication and therefore essentially numb to the pain of all of his various injuries. "What do you think?" Ciel snapped back, but, in his state, there was little heat in it.

Alois pressed his lips together. "Are  _you_  okay?"

At this, Ciel softened, knowing that Alois meant well and was only worried about him, as a good friend would be in this situation.

"I'll be fine," Ciel replied more neutrally, sighing and slowly moving his hands away from his lower half. "I'm just a little beat up. The mission was completed, and I've got to start reading up on and preparing myself for the next one."

Alois's eyes widened almost comically. "What? No, Ciel – you just got back home! You could have  _died_! Can't you just take a couple of weeks off before the next job?"

This was an argument that they had had many times. Ciel was well-aware of his duty to his country and to Victoria Queen, but Alois felt that Ciel, a fourteen-year-old who had spent several years being mentally and physically abused, put his life on the line for Victoria far more often than was warranted. But even though Alois had been there all throughout Ciel's recovery, he couldn't know just how grateful Ciel was for Victoria's help. He couldn't understand just how fucking  _low_ Ciel had felt – how  _used_ , and how much he had wanted to end himself. He couldn't comprehend how important it was to have a mother figure in those times.

If Rachel Phantomhive were still alive, Ciel would do  _anything_ for her.

Ciel would do anything to bring her  _back_.

Anything, that is, but give up his lifelong quest for revenge.

"No, Alois." Ciel pinned him with a cold look. "You, of all people, know this."

Alois was the only person who knew every disgusting detail of the Ciel's painful prepubescent years – all of it: the fire, the auctioning, the ritual knifing, the cycle of foster families with a penchant for pedophilia, the drugs – as well as the awful things he had done since his release. On top of that, Alois had been there for his childhood. Of all his few friends, Alois understood him the best, and for some reason, despite knowing all of these horrible things, he still chose to love Ciel.

Alois's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "Will you at least take the rest of the week off? Just…go to school, catch up on classes. Let your wounds heal. The Queen won't stop treating you like her long-lost son if you take three more days off to recuperate," Alois pushed, unrelenting. He even went so far as to reach over and squeeze Ciel's hand. "For me?" he asked, staring down at Ciel with wide, pleading blue eyes.

Ciel coughed and turned his head away, feeling distinctly guilty.

"Fine," he muttered. "Go fetch Madame for me, and please don't come back."

Out of the corner of his eye, Ciel watched as Alois's countenance immediately brightened, and he placed a dry, soft kiss on Ciel's cheek, causing Ciel to pull away into his enormous pillows. If Alois was offended by Ciel's reaction, he didn't show it, prancing out of the room with a "Bye, Ciel!" as an afterthought.

Ciel relaxed into his pillows and looked around the room again. This time, he noticed his phone sitting on the table where his eyepatch had been. Perking up slightly, he snatched it up and scrolled through his missed notifications.

 _76 emails_ , his Gmail account professed. The majority of them were from colleges and could, therefore, be looked over later.

 _7 missed calls_ , from a variety of people. But Sebastian had assured him that everything was fine, so he didn't feel an immediate need to call any of them back.

 _18 text messages_ , which were the most prudent. There were a few from Sieglinde, one from Arthur, a few get-wells from his few school acquaintances, and one from an unknown number, likely an operative of The Queen. Ciel made a mental note to check that later.

Before he could really look at all of the texts he'd received, Angelina came bursting into the room, her face awash with joy. Ciel's aunt practically leapt into the bed with him, and he was soon crushed against her thickly-perfumed neck by the force of her embrace.

"Oh,  _Ciel!_ I'm so glad you're home…" she sobbed into Ciel's hair, dislodging the string of Ciel's eyepatch. "I thought that  _rat_ could have  _killed_ you!"

Ciel wondered about that himself.

While, naturally, he was grateful that Sebastian had gotten to him, he had been suspiciously capable. He had taken out Vanel's ( _barely_ ) trained soldiers, learned of Ciel's location, and swiftly made his way through the building to where Ciel was incarcerated without even breaking a sweat.

"Relax, Auntie," he assured her, granting her a rare smile ( _which hurt his bruises like a motherfucker_ ) to placate her concerns. "I made it back fine; I'll even take the week off from work."

She grinned hugely, ecstatic, as tears continued to trail down her cheeks. "I'm glad."

A few minutes later, she left, and Ciel was alone with his thoughts once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for dropping by!


	10. Interlude I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interlude: A few months before the current story, Alois and Ciel spend time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyy, sorry it's been a while. T_T I just got internet back. And unfortunately, I don't have a lot of writing left on the backburner for this story, so it'll probably be a bit spaced out from here on out. Btw, this chapter is not necessary to the plot, so feel free to skip.
> 
> WC: ~2300
> 
> Anyways, TW for: Vomiting, anal penetration and other sex things, very very vague mentions of abuse, and dub-con (If anything in those areas is a problem, I'd stay away from this chapter just to be safe. Don't worry; once again, this chapter is not needed for the story).

**Part 10: Interlude I**

* * *

  _This wasn't one-hundred percent true, as Alois very well knew. That awful day, just this past summer, Ciel had actually come _quite_ close to allowing Alois to have him fully. It had been during one of the lowest points of his life thus far, and Ciel would probably never be able to completely trust Alois because he had taken advantage of that for something as trivial as sex." - Excerpt from Part 3: Sorrows_

* * *

 

Ciel stumbled down the hallway, hardly able to breathe. Collapsing into an armchair in the waiting area, Ciel ignored the secretary's reservedly concerned stare in favor of aggressively searching his pockets. Eventually pulling out his inhaler, Ciel took a few frantic puffs before attempting to reassure the mildly worried woman. "Don't worry," he said weakly to her. "I'm fine."

She granted him with a fairly dubious expression, but seemingly decided that he wasn't worth the trouble and turned dismissively back to her computer.

Next, he pulled out his phone. After briefly debating who to contact, Ciel decided on Alois –  _speed dial number two_ – and made the call. After about five seconds of the phone ringing and Ciel valiantly trying to keep his composure, Alois picked up, sounding almost as distressed as Ciel felt. "Ciel, what's the matter?" he asked immediately.

Ciel was abruptly and overwhelmingly grateful that Alois knew him so well; Ciel never called Alois when he had the ability to text. But at the moment, his hands were shaking so badly that Ciel was shocked he hadn't dropped his phone on the floor yet.

"I-I'm…" Ciel stumbled over his words. "Come pick me up at the office, please?" His voice faded to a whisper on the last word. The sound of his own voice, weak with pain and insecurity, was rapidly making him want to retch, and he was gripping his cell tightly enough that his hand was beginning to ache. "I…I just can't, Alois, I _can't_ – " his voice was quickly rising to hysterical levels, but Alois interrupted him before he could stress himself out too much.

"Ciel, stop a second, okay?" Alois said very calmly and firmly. "Take a deep breath for me, Ciel." Ciel obeyed slowly, his entire upper body shuddering as he tried to hold in tears. "Now wipe your face, you probably look like a mess. I'll bring you some tissues, alright? I'm coming for you  _right now_ , but I just need you to sit tight and wait for me, okay, Ciel?" Alois constantly checked to make sure he was paying attention and not getting lost in his thoughts, and Ciel made small noises of acquiescence each time. "How about you do your multiplication, and I stay on the phone while you do it, Ciel?" Alois suggested.

In the state he was in, Ciel agreed easily.

Ever since he had returned from the vicious cycle that is human trafficking, Ciel had been saddled with an unwanted - but ultimately, quite needed - friend in Alois Trancy. Alois had been in group recovery therapy with him at the hospital, and Ciel had quickly realised that he was actually the young boy, Jim, who had lived next door to him for as long as he could remember – the same Jim who had, in their fifth grade year, told him, quite matter-of-factly, that  _boys can kiss other boys, too, Ciel,_  and proceeded to steal away Ciel's first kiss.

Unlike Ciel, Alois had been rescued by the local police mere weeks after the premeditated murder of his family and his subsequent kidnapping. His first buyer, a James Earl Trancy, had been careless enough in his monitoring to allow Alois to call for help, saving himself and all of Trancy's other boy slaves. Though Alois had turned out to be an uncomfortably (almost worryingly) sexual presence, he appeared otherwise relatively unharmed by the short time he had spent in captivity – unbroken. He had even kept his new name (granted to him by the  _lovely_ late James Trancy) just to showcase  _how_ accepting and over it he was.

Ciel had not been so lucky.

By the time Ciel was reunited with his childhood friend, Ciel had adopted a cynical, closed-off, and aggressive demeanor, but Alois had slowly coaxed his truer personality out from where it was hidden underneath all of Ciel's pain. Furthermore, every time Ciel had an episode, Alois encouraged him to use a certain method to distract himself and get him focused on another task. Starting with one, Ciel would just multiply by two, then multiply the product by two, then multiply  _that_ product by two, and so on and so forth. The menial task kept his mind occupied better than counting (what his therapist suggested) did, and Ciel was grateful for it, however simple it was.

However, by the time Ciel reached the eighteenth operation, less than two minutes in, he found that his thoughts were drifting off again. He said as much to Alois, hiccuping slightly in the middle of the sentence.

"Then start over, but this time, multiply by two and add one," Alois said easily, right before he cursed loudly at someone on his end of the phone, likely a dime-a-dozen inconsiderate Seattle driver.

And between Alois's cool instructions and the comforting act of doing mental calculations, Ciel could feel himself settling into a much calmer state of mind. What felt like moments later, Ciel was being unceremoniously pushed into Alois's cheap, falling apart, smells-like-rotting-corpses-were-hidden-in-the-trunk Jeep Cherokee, and Alois was pressing a box of tissues into his hands. (It was a running joke in their circle of friends that Alois, despite being just as loaded as Ciel, always drove shitty cars and treated them like the crap they were.) Ciel rubbed roughly at his face to rid it of tear stains and stared out the window as the radio played top 40 music in the background.

The ride back to their neighborhood was essentially silent on Alois's part (a rare treasure), aside from the occasional swearing fit at random drivers who incited his ire, but Ciel could feel his friend's piercing gaze on the side of his face every time the car rolled to a stop at a red light. His driving was very cautious throughout the trip, as technically, Alois didn't yet have his license; he didn't want to get them both arrested.

By the time they arrived at Alois's huge, empty house, Ciel was much more himself. "Thanks for…helping me out, Alois," he said quietly. His hands were still trembling, but it was so slight that Ciel barely even registered it. "I feel a lot better."

Alois frowned at him, seemingly not convinced, and grabbed one of Ciel's hands in two of his before saying, "You're shaking like a leaf, babe. I don't want to leave you alone just yet." With that announcement, Alois led him upstairs and into a bathroom. Looking into the mirror, Ciel noticed things he hadn't before: the red of his cheeks, including a few scratch marks ( _I don't remember being that rough)_ , his hair a mess from his tugging on it in anxiety, and the unnatural pallor of his skin. When he examined his face more closely and noticed the white, raised edges of his scar peeking out from the bottom of his eyepatch, his eyes immediately tore up and he broke down sobbing.

Before he could collapse to the floor, Alois collected Ciel into his lap and lowered them both onto the toilet seat, whispering sweet nothings and comfortingly smoothing his hands over Ciel's back.

Ciel barely registered the movements as Alois stripped them both bare and stepped into the tub. The area quickly filled up with warm, bubbly water, and Ciel slowly became more aware of his surroundings. But instead of throwing a fit about being naked in a tub with probably his closest friend, Ciel tried to relax for once, sliding down the opposite wall from Alois and soaking more of his body in the warm, sweet-smelling water. Their legs tangled beneath the surface, but Ciel couldn't bring himself to consider the implications.

Just as Ciel began to drift off, Alois suddenly reached over, bridging the remaining space between their bodies, and stroked his thumb gently over the apple of Ciel's cheek before boldly sliding his hand up and completely dislodging the eyepatch. Ciel, more than a bit sluggish in the last dredges of his panic attack, was more shocked than outraged at his friend's audacity, but when Alois leaned in and pressed their lips together, Ciel found that his protests had all dissolved in the bath water. It was just so  _familiar_ , the touch of someone Ciel had known for so long and trusted to keep his head above the water, metaphorically and physically, that Ciel forgot about all of the very compelling reasons for why he  _shouldn't_ be making out naked with Alois in a bathtub. It began slow and languid, their breaths shared warm between them with each parting. But Alois smoothly moved to straddle Ciel's lap minutes later, and the feeling of the kiss completely changed as Ciel sat up straight in the tub, gripping Alois tightly against him with new ferocity.

A few soft words were all that was needed to coax Ciel out of the tub. Alois removed the drain plug before tugging Ciel impatiently towards where he knew Alois's bedroom was, and upon arriving there, tackled Ciel onto his bed.

Alois was relentless in his assault. Every inch of Ciel's skin was thoroughly toyed with until Ciel was sure Alois could play him like a violin if he so desired. He'd left several pink marks in two trails down Ciel's sides before licking into his belly button, which had ripped a surprised moan from Ciel. Alois had even developed a particular interest in unexpectedly tweaking Ciel's nipples because of the high-pitched whimper of pleasure-pain it elicited. Alois taunted him with kittenish licks around his groin and sucking kisses on his perineum, driving Ciel nearly to coming untouched. Once Alois had had his fill of teasing and decided to move onto the task of  _actual penetration_ , Ciel was so on edge that he was practically incoherent.

With the warm droplets of water still clinging to their pale skin, everything was so  _slick_  and  _hot_ , and Ciel arched his back in rapture when Alois finally reached  _that_ spot inside of him with two of the fingers on his left hand, jerking Ciel off with a tight grip all the while. He knew all too well just how rough Ciel preferred it. 

Alois then paused momentarily, bringing Ciel's hand to his own dick and silently encouraging him to touch himself as he gently pulled out. As Alois crossed the room, leaving Ciel's line of sight, Ciel instead chose to reach lower and scissor his entrance back open, utilizing the poor angle to the best of his ability and fucking himself with his own fingers with a low exhale of pleasure. Alois turned back to face him at the sound, his cock now encased in rubber and his face brightening with excitement and lust. He practically leaped onto the bed after that, but he was careful in positioning Ciel in the most comfortable way.

Prepared to push in, Alois grinned down at Ciel before straining down to place a gentle kiss just below his right eye. "Ready to go, babe?" Alois asked to confirm his consent. Ciel froze mid-nod, staring into Alois's too-familiar ice-blue eyes and realizing that he was about to let his own best friend fuck him as comfort for the worst therapy session of his life.

_And I'm fairly sure there's something wrong with that._

Unable to provide sufficient warning, or even move, as Alois was sort of entangled with his lower half while pinning both of his hands, Ciel could only turn his face to the left before he suddenly hurled violently onto Alois's bedspread. Alois threw himself back off of Ciel in shock. Then, as the situation registered, he yelled, "I'll be right back!" and dashed out of the room.

Ciel stared blankly at the carpet, feeling even worse than he had when he'd initially called Alois from his therapist's office.

 _Am I really such a slut?_ He wondered, his erection quickly wilting.  _Did those bastards twist me up enough that the first thing I do when I can't deal with my feelings is try to drown myself in sex?_

Ciel instantly recalled the dozen or two faceless boys he had coaxed into his private upstairs room at Lygerastia when he was feeling particularly low over the past year, and suddenly he was holding back a second round of puke and trying hard not to begin bawling all over Alois's bed and ruin it further.

It was then that Alois returned, carrying a box of tissues, a robe, a new set of sheets, a pot with a lid, a water bottle, a bowl of something sweet-smelling, and a spray can of Febreze. Upon seeing what he had brought, Ciel slipped off of the bed and into the chair by Alois's desk, watching as his friend meticulously remade his sleeping area; soon, it was as though Ciel had never been there in the first place.

Alois handed Ciel the tissues, allowing him to gather together the tattered scraps of his dignity by cleaning his own face ( _because Alois knows me so fucking well_ ). Then he set the water bottle and the ceramic bowl on the desk next to Ciel with an apologetic smile, revealing that the bowl held a pile of warm cinnamon apples. Despite himself, Ciel's lips twitched and he picked up the spoon to begin eating. Once he was finished, he turned back to Alois, who stood in the middle of the room, holding the dark, fluffy robe out for Ciel to slip into and politely looking away from his nudity.

As Ciel donned the deep violet robe, Alois trotted over to his TV and put on a film. While Alois went to shut off the lights, Ciel took a deep breath and climbed back into the bed, closing his eyes and vowing to reevaluate his relationship with Alois later, when he was alone. Moments later, Alois slipped into the bed next to him and caught Ciel's attention by touching his shoulder.

His eyes uncharacteristically apologetic and taking on an unsettling incandescence in the yellowish light of the pre-movie promos, Alois began to speak. "I'm really sorry, Ciel. I know this wasn't the time or place – that you were vulnerable and I took advantage. But…" he paused and glanced away for a moment. "I love you, Ciel. More than you love me, I'm sure. And I'm  _so_  sorry," he said again, eyes welling up with tears. "I shouldn't have…I know it was wrong…" he released a shuddering breath, and Ciel was dumbfounded by the confession.

Of  _course_ , he knew that Alois was sexually attracted to him, though he had often brushed it off – as it seemed that Alois was sexually attracted to  _any_ decent-looking guy he happened upon. But he'd never seen this anguish before – this devotion. Inexplicably, he felt guilty for not noticing his friend's deeper feelings towards him.

"I'm not going to say that it's fine, Alois. Because it's not," Ciel said before releasing a long, drawn-out sigh. "Not on either of our parts. But right now, I just want to watch the movie. So please shut up."

Alois sniffled and didn't say anything for a while, and the two of them watched silently as the TV rolled through snippets of scenes,  _Hedwig's Theme_ playing in the background. Though he loved the Harry Potter series, the exhaustion caused by the emotional rollercoaster of a day got the best of him, and Ciel began succumbing to the sweet lull of sleep just half an hour in.

The last thing Ciel could remember before waking with a start the next morning, Alois wrapped around him as though he were a teddy bear, was the soft kiss dropped on his forehead, accompanied by a whispered _I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for dropping by!


End file.
